Yeah, I've still got that shit stuck in my head a decade later
It's been almost two decades
this post was submitted on 16 Apr 2024
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chapotraphouse
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Hey! Fuck you buddy.
When the $5 dollar footlong was no longer $5, I lost my faith in the American project
this but unironically
twenty FIVE
twenty FIVE
twenty FIVE DOLLAR FOOTLOOOONG
convulses in pain
STOP PLEASE THIS IS WORSE
*not ANY ANY ANY ANY
Friends, the goodposting vanguard has been organized
thought about posting this in c/badposting, but then immediately recognized humility can be a mistake and blew out the back on that traphouse
Replacing the dollar menu with $7.29 before tax menu
"It's an order of magnitude"
And just like that a dying neuronal pathway was resurrected and reified. Powerful posting
imagining a world where they kept the price $5 but kept making it shorter
Theyve already passed $6 inch, and idk whod buy a $5 4 inch
quietly changing the name of the 'six dollar burger' after a brief period of being literal
We used to have a restaurant called "Sevens" because everything was $7. After a while they upped the prices and changed the name to the owner's name instead.
I always wished they would have just updated their name to reflect inflation. So like 2 years after they opened they should have changed the name to "Eights" for example.
The had bangin' mozzarella sticks too. They were just whole ass string cheese sticks with deep fried tempera batter. Probably one of the most American foods I've had.
They completely squandered their opportunity to become Elevenses
CALL JG WENTWORTH, 877-CASH-NOW!
New viral Subway campaign:
ONE
ONE DOLLAR
ONE DOLLAR PER IIIINNNCH
It wasn't even a foot long too. Average sandwich sizes even in the day were closer to 11 inches.
At a certain point we're going to have start making excuses for the lack of terror
I usually add an inch to my measurements, no one can usually tell and I haven't been sued for false advertising yet
It's going to be even more confusing when the Yuan rises and China forces us to use metric
Fifteen dollar footlong is not far off, don't worry
I'd argue that it shows how even international businesses don't understand basic monetary and macro economic concepts. Its existence should be a reminder to you that your fiat currency is losing value every moment you hold it. 2% year over year is the US Fed's target, and what is in the basket has changed many times
what in the basket has changed many times
Not long until it will be flavored, textured sawdust.
[klaxon sounds] "ATTENTION: flavor additives are only for associates who meet their quotas"
They kept me alive for a couple of years. It's too bad they suck so hard now.
Anyone remember that weird Quiznos commercial with the weird chinchilla thing?
im not like a 
anti-restaurant leftist but the concept of places that assemble food so simple you watch them do it in a minute is absurdist shit
restaurants need to actually cook things
actually the division of labour is a good thing, and you probably couldn't make a decent sandwich nearly as quickly as someone who makes 50 of them per hour using dedicated equipment
Cafeterias are the trains of eateries
I definitely make sandwiches better and faster than my local sandwich wage slaves but it's not it's not like that's their fault or anything. They've got a backlog of assholes' sandwiches to make. Also I don't expect workers to bend over backwards to make my treats fast that's not why I would buy a sandwich and it's class traitor behavior to blame them rather than staffing issues i.e. the man.
You've heard of prep work right?