this post was submitted on 01 May 2024
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Science Memes

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[–] [email protected] 191 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago) (25 children)

Big volcanoes look like this

(Mount Rainier, Washington)

The BIGGEST volcanoes look like this

Or this

Notice how they don’t have that nice big pretty volcano cone shape? It just looks like some drunk geologists scribbled on a map and drew circles around a low lying area with a lake or two in it and called it a “volcano” or a “volcanic zone”.

The reason though is that the BIGGEST and most destructive volcanic eruptions tend to happen with lava/magma that doesn’t flow very well and like when you get a stuffed nose, everything gets blocked up. Like many of us, these volcanos don’t solve the problem and go take a decongestant or blow their nose, they just sit there sniveling and stewing, failing to release the pressure that keeps building and building and building.

These eruptions are called felsic eruptions (the opposite of mafic, goopy eruptions you have seen footage of from Hawaii where the lava comes out like a fluid). An immense amount of gas is released by magma as it becomes exposed to the surface (which then we call it “lava”) as the gas is no longer kept in the magma at immense pressures. The magma can’t flow and “pass the gas” so to speak so a plug forms and what you get is a terrifyingly big pressure cooker that just builds and builds like that person on the plane next to you that just keeps sniffing and sniffing and never blowing their nose.

When the built up pressure finally overcomes the plug, the resulting explosion is so catastrophic it doesn’t leave a clean volcano shape. What you are left with is an uneven low topography dotted with lakes that marks the site of an incomprehensibly large explosion, hence the topography of Yellowstone, Wyoming and the Taupo Volcanic Zone on the North Island of New Zealand.

TIME FOR SOME STATS THAT WILL BREAK YOUR BRAIN


"The Taupō Volcanic Zone has produced in the last 350,000 years over 3,900 cubic kilometres (940 cu mi) material, more than anywhere else on Earth, from over 300 silicic eruptions [my edit: "Felsic" means "has lots of silica/silicic (silicic? seriously wikipedia?) and wants to form minerals high in silica like quartz and feldspar"], with 12 of these eruptions being caldera-forming. Detailed stratigraphy in the zone is only available from the Ōkataina Rotoiti eruption but including this event, the zone has been more productive than any other rhyolite predominant volcanic area [my edit: Rhyolite is a record of catastrophe, it is a Felsic, silica-rich igneous rock like Granite except it cooled FAST at the surface instead of in big underground "batholiths" (that make up a good portion of the Canadian Shield and the NE of the US among other places) where the minerals had time to grow into big pretty crystals, same ingredients as Granite but with much more exciting baking instructions] over the last 50,000 odd years at 12.8 km3 (3.1 cu mi) per thousand years. Comparison of large events in the Taupō volcanic zone over the last 1.6 million years at 3.8 km3 (0.91 cu mi) per thousand years versus with Yellowstone Caldera's 2.1 million year productivity at 3.0 km3 (0.72 cu mi) per thousand years favours Taupo...

...The last major eruption from Lake Taupō, the Hatepe eruption, occurred in 232 CE. It is believed to have first emptied the lake, then followed that feat with a pyroclastic flow that covered about 20,000 km2 (7,700 sq mi) of land with volcanic ash. A total of 120 km3 (29 cu mi) of material expressed as dense-rock equivalent (DRE) is believed to have been ejected, and over 30 km3 (7.2 cu mi) of material is estimated to have been ejected in just a few minutes."...

^https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Taup%C5%8D_Volcanic_Zone

..."The main extremely violent pyroclastic flow travelled at close to the speed of sound and devastated the surrounding area, climbing over 1,500 m (4,900 ft) to overtop the nearby Kaimanawa Ranges and Mount Tongariro, and covering the land within 80 km (50 mi) with ignimbrite [my edit: the name for pyroclastic flow deposits, i.e. pumice and ash, that kind of thing]. Only Ruapehu was high enough to divert the flow.  The power of the pyroclastic flow was so strong that in some places it eroded more material off the ground surface than it replaced with ignimbrite.  There is evidence that it occurred on an autumn afternoon and its energy release was about 150 megatons of TNT equivalent. The eruption column penetrated the stratosphere as revealed by deposits in ice core samples in Greenland and Antarctica."

^https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Taup%C5%8D_Volcanic_Zone

why the did I make this stupid meme in feet instead of metric, I am such an asshole -facepalm

[–] [email protected] 95 points 6 months ago (3 children)

So you are saying we need more concrete?

[–] [email protected] 51 points 6 months ago (3 children)

Paving over all of Yellowstone is the only right answer.

[–] [email protected] 24 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Yeah, we could build a Walmart there too!

[–] [email protected] 15 points 6 months ago

We will need to send the best managers Walmart has to offer to keep the volcanoes in check

[–] [email protected] 16 points 6 months ago

They paved paradise and put up a parking lot.

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[–] [email protected] 21 points 6 months ago (2 children)

No no no, we need to dig down to the magma to release the pressure!

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[–] [email protected] 24 points 6 months ago (2 children)

IIRC when Mount Saint Helens erupted in the 80s it blew the top half of the volcano off.

[–] [email protected] 33 points 6 months ago (6 children)

Yeah and slightly off topic wasn't the pic of Helens blowing its top taken by a man who knew in advance the explosion would kill him and protected his film? Am i thinking of the right story?

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[–] [email protected] 15 points 6 months ago

So much awesome power in that eruption (with non-awesome human and nature/animal consequences).

http://mountsthelens.com/history-1.html

This article is a good play-by-play of how the eruption physically progressed, I particularly like this illustration.

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[–] [email protected] 118 points 6 months ago (13 children)

"Success! We have plugged the volcano!"

two days later

[–] [email protected] 39 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago) (3 children)
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[–] [email protected] 62 points 6 months ago (3 children)

This requires a lot of concrete. A more economical solution would be to just move the volcano elsewhere. Plus then you can sell all of the new real estate where the volcano once stood!

[–] [email protected] 14 points 6 months ago

Given the state of the world, those volcanoes are probably already owned by foreign investors to use as land banks.

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[–] [email protected] 57 points 6 months ago (2 children)

Now we have lava and a cement projectile!

[–] [email protected] 35 points 6 months ago (1 children)

It’s a shame we can’t grow a large enough potato.

[–] [email protected] 31 points 6 months ago

Not with that attitude

[–] [email protected] 21 points 6 months ago (3 children)

Hold on a sec... what if just aim the volcano at our enemies?

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[–] [email protected] 50 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Good idea, also applicable in other areas

[–] [email protected] 40 points 6 months ago (1 children)

unfortunately this would only work on tanks that shoot lava

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[–] [email protected] 48 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago)

I like how the diagram contains an illustration of one big flaw in the plan

[–] [email protected] 46 points 6 months ago (1 children)

If you put concrete over the volcano, how are you going to throw virgins in as a sacrifice to the volcano god? Just asking for trouble here.

[–] [email protected] 23 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Just leave a virgin-shaped hole in the middle of the concrete block. It won't change the efficacy of the concrete due to the magma wavelength being so much greater than the hole diameter (the mesh screen on a microwave principal).

[–] [email protected] 16 points 6 months ago

This hole was meant for me!

[–] [email protected] 45 points 6 months ago (7 children)

Just put up some "no eruption" signs.

[–] [email protected] 17 points 6 months ago

That'd be about as ridiculous as the proposal that is being dismissed into oblivion in this thread but at least economically and technically feasible.

Three or four signs should suffice.

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[–] [email protected] 43 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Wanna know my pet peve? I just know whoever honestly asked that question did zero research at all about it but instead of asking if anyone has ever done it they ask why no on ever has, even though I just know they didn't so much as google it once.

[–] [email protected] 30 points 6 months ago (1 children)

It's the same people who post "what time does big Tesco shut?" on Facebook.

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[–] [email protected] 40 points 6 months ago (4 children)

Also fun fact - you can make a gun ineffective and safe just by welding shut its barel.

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[–] [email protected] 39 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Put a really big wooden spoon over the mouth of the volcano

[–] [email protected] 22 points 6 months ago

Smart to go for wooden, because then the handle won't get hot!

[–] [email protected] 37 points 6 months ago (3 children)

Just pump out the magma til it's empty and use it to heat homes. Win win

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[–] [email protected] 36 points 6 months ago (1 children)

For a small scale demonstration, OOP should try chugging a bottle of laxatives, insert a buttplug, and see how it goes.

[–] [email protected] 19 points 6 months ago (2 children)

I was gonna ref the coke and mentos challenge but your suggestion has a much higher hilarity factor

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[–] [email protected] 30 points 6 months ago (1 children)

This is literally what happens when a volcano erupts. Magma solidifes at the top and creates a plug, which builds pressure until it explodes.

[–] [email protected] 17 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Dude, you are going to break this person's heart. Keep this knowledge to yourself.

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[–] [email protected] 24 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago) (12 children)
  • cement: mostly not rocks and mortar mix or whatever the fuck
  • concrete: mostly rocks, mortar mix, and significantly stronger than cement.
  • lava: literally actually just fucking molten rock
  • also lava: buried thousands of feet deeper below millions, possibly billions of pounds of more rock
  • concrete: weights about the same

shitposting aside this would just spray incredibly small chunks of solidified lava everywhere, for miles.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 6 months ago (3 children)

Cement is the chemical that cements. Mix it with sand and you get mortar, add aggregate and you get concrete. Concrete is not only made with cement, if you swap it for bitumen, you get asphalt.

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[–] [email protected] 23 points 6 months ago

This is a sad and unfunny attempt to distract the damage done to good people on both sides of a volcano.

The real solution is to present the map of potential impact, and then draw on it with a Sharpie to change the outcome.

[–] [email protected] 22 points 6 months ago (9 children)

Oh I get it! If you stack rock on the hot rock, you can stop the hot rock from moving the rock with more rock!

... Unironically, this DOES work ... sorta'. Though it'd be dumb to do by man, because a 'rock plug' is exactly what forms at the top of many volcanos after the magma cools. It's why many volcanos have flank eruptions where magma pushes through some side crack, or build and build until the rock plug pops catastrophically.

Of course some volcanos don't have the right mix to form rock plugs, and any non-dormant volcano can pop them, but the point is it does have an effect that can delay and redirect eruptions.

If humanity doesn't kill itself off soon (bad news on that front), I wouldn't be surprised if one day we're building megastructures around volcanos specifically to manage them instead of being subject to them.

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[–] [email protected] 20 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago) (1 children)

Brilliant! Sign this $1B invoice and I'll setup a team for a proof of concept.

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[–] [email protected] 15 points 6 months ago (2 children)

Volcano erupting? Just tell it to stop. It legally can't erupt without your permission.

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[–] [email protected] 14 points 6 months ago (2 children)

Did she ever pop a pimple? Volcanoes build up an insane amount of pressure.

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[–] [email protected] 14 points 6 months ago

If we put enough corn kernels it would fill up the volcano with popcorn and it will just shoot popcorn all over the tri state area 🧠

[–] [email protected] 14 points 6 months ago

why not like pour water on the volcano, my dude

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