I would leave a comment but I'll be busy (with a girl, you wouldn't understand)
this post was submitted on 15 May 2024
798 points (98.8% liked)
Lemmy Shitpost
25935 readers
2868 users here now
Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.
Anything and everything goes. Memes, Jokes, Vents and Banter. Though we still have to comply with lemmy.world instance rules. So behave!
Rules:
1. Be Respectful
Refrain from using harmful language pertaining to a protected characteristic: e.g. race, gender, sexuality, disability or religion.
Refrain from being argumentative when responding or commenting to posts/replies. Personal attacks are not welcome here.
...
2. No Illegal Content
Content that violates the law. Any post/comment found to be in breach of common law will be removed and given to the authorities if required.
That means:
-No promoting violence/threats against any individuals
-No CSA content or Revenge Porn
-No sharing private/personal information (Doxxing)
...
3. No Spam
Posting the same post, no matter the intent is against the rules.
-If you have posted content, please refrain from re-posting said content within this community.
-Do not spam posts with intent to harass, annoy, bully, advertise, scam or harm this community.
-No posting Scams/Advertisements/Phishing Links/IP Grabbers
-No Bots, Bots will be banned from the community.
...
4. No Porn/Explicit
Content
-Do not post explicit content. Lemmy.World is not the instance for NSFW content.
-Do not post Gore or Shock Content.
...
5. No Enciting Harassment,
Brigading, Doxxing or Witch Hunts
-Do not Brigade other Communities
-No calls to action against other communities/users within Lemmy or outside of Lemmy.
-No Witch Hunts against users/communities.
-No content that harasses members within or outside of the community.
...
6. NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.
-Content that is NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.
-Content that might be distressing should be kept behind NSFW tags.
...
If you see content that is a breach of the rules, please flag and report the comment and a moderator will take action where they can.
Also check out:
Partnered Communities:
1.Memes
10.LinuxMemes (Linux themed memes)
Reach out to
All communities included on the sidebar are to be made in compliance with the instance rules. Striker
founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
I would upvote your comment, but I'll be with a real girl (I don't expect you to understand it)
I would read your comment, but I'll be playing Factorio (I don't expect you to understand it)
load more comments
(1 replies)
lmao this is too good, I would laugh but I'll be too busy (because I'll be meeting a girl, not that you are really going to understand)
A REAL ONE!
I don't understand :(
(you wouldn't)
I know this is an unpopular take...but I'm cheering the guy on. He obviously needs to get laid. Like, really bad.
I think he needs to fall on his face first, to lose the entitlement and degrading behaviour towards his (up until this point) friends.
Then when he learns he can have another attempt.
load more comments
(1 replies)
for the girl's sake I hope he doesn't
(assuming it is not satire, but it probably is)
For all of our sakes, I, too, hope he doesn't.
What's that? Another copypasta hot off the press? Don't mind if I do tyvm!
Not gonna be active on Discord tonight. l'm meeting a girl (a real one) in half an hour (wouldn't expect a lot of you to understand anyway) so please don't DM me asking me where l am (im with the girl, ok) you'll most likely get aired because ill be with the girl (again l don't expect you to understand) shes actually really interested in me and its not a situation i can pass up for some meaningless Discord degenerates (because ill be meeting a girl, not that you really are going to understand) this is my life now. Meeting women and not wasting my precious time online, l have to move on from such simple things and branch out (you wouldnt understand)
@everyone
load more comments
(2 replies)
Sounds like he doesn't understand.
If she’s in to condescending pricks, it’ll be a perfect match!
Assuming she exists in the first place
She totally does, she just goes to another Discord. I wouldn't expect you (an obvious virgin) to understand what it's like to have Real Human Girls be interested in you, but she's real (a real girl and also definitely human) and she wants him. She's just offline right now or she'd prove it.
load more comments
(1 replies)
And then.. the next day he will be back on discord for hours on end for days on end.
guys... call me crazy but... I think he will be meeting a girl
I don't understand.
load more comments
(1 replies)
This guy fucks
I don't think he does, too busy meeting up with a real girl
Napoleon Dynamite reporting from the Internets...
More like kip, but yeah
Not gonna be active on Discord tonight. I'm meeting a girl (a real one) in half an hour (wouldn't expect a lot of you to understand anyway) so please don't DM me asking me where I am (im with the girl, ok) you'll most likely get aired because ill be with the girl (again I don't expect you to understand) shes actually really interested in me and its not a situation i can pass up for some meaningless Discord degenerates (because ill be meeting a girl, not that you really are going to understand) this is my life now. Meeting women and not wasting my precious time online, I have to move on from such simple things and branch out (you wouldnt understand) @everyone
What in the fuck
Hello guys today I just had very hot sex(not gay)(with a woman) and it was pretty fun I fucked her pussy(because she is a woman) and she said she enjoyed it a lot(with a female voice because she is a female). Anyways losing your virginity(to a woman) is very exciting and I hope to do it again(with a woman).
You know, it makes me only think otherwise.
Clearly he's gay.
Ugh if my
gay-ass
gay ass
had had
Discord in 7th grade, this is exactly the kind of bullshit propaganda I would have used to cover for myself
Honestly this was so weird to read because of the line breaks, but it would have been way harder without them. Thanks for looking out!
I hope your gay-ass gay ass had had a great day.
load more comments
(1 replies)
I had a short phase like that in my early teens. I hate you for making me remember that.
Is this a mother's day post?
We all know his Mum.
Ahem. 😅
Needs more parentheses.
(not that it would help)
Took her forever to get here from Canada.
She's from one of the provinces, there's so many you wouldn't know it
@everyone
I've met several. Would not recommend. Cooties, I believe you Yanks call them.
local_users lusers
view more: next ›