this post was submitted on 26 May 2024

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Daily discussion thread: 🧌 Monday, May 27, 2024 (aussie.zone)

submitted 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

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[–] [email protected] 25 points 5 months ago (4 children)

Bit of a shitty weekend. I don't really have anyone to talk to about this, so I guess you guys are it. I don't really wanna got into specifics, cause it may not happen and i don't want this to be identifiable. So I started looking at apartments over the weekend. Somethings happened and I'm just not sure this is sustainable. To the point where a small 2 bed unit and 50/50 custody is starting to look appealing.

We've got couples therapy booked for end of next month (something I've been requesting for a while now). Will see if they can help us figure some stuff out.

This is the first time I've said this stuff out loud, so even hitting that Post button is... tough. like I'm making it real or somethin.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 5 months ago (2 children)

Hey man. Coupling and parenting is tough, believe me I know. Among other things the constant tiredness is really something that makes relationships hard, communication becomes really hard and misunderstandings, assumptions, and unfortunately resentment can build pretty quickly and easily. We've been going to counselling for about 18 months this time around, had a break before that and before that about another year with a different therapist. Seems like we are in similar boats as I was requesting it for a fair while before my partner agreed. If I can give you some advice for the counselling....try to go in with a completely open mind, as in don't assume you know everything about the feelings involved, situational history etc. I had to come to terms with some stuff about myself pretty quickly that I didn't even realise I did/do... If you both go in ready to work on things, ready to understand the others viewpoint, ready to be honest...that's the best you can do. The people you were are likely still there, the things you love about your partner are likely still there, just that they're being hammered by responsibilities that no one knows the full extent of before having kids. I hope things improve for you, and you and your partner can have some real understanding and compassion for each other.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago)

so much this...it's terrifying how quickly you can become antagonistic strangers to each other when you're both overloaded and stressed out to fuck. And then you have like, a conversation, and his huge beast of this is the end in your head just becomes this silly misunderstanding.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 5 months ago

Cheers. You're absolutely right about communication. Never something we've excelled at. In retrospect really something we shoulda locked down BEFORE putting the relationship of a pressure cooker of a kid.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Hope it works out for you mate. It sucks, but counselling is a great first step. We did it after having our 2nd kid and it helped immensely.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Thanks! Yeah really feels like something we shoulda sorted before kid joined the party, but hey. If the best day to start was yesterday then the next best time to start is today.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Maybe the kid was the catalyst that was needed. It was for us. Our first settled into solid sleep patterns in like 6 weeks, our 2nd took nearly a year to sleep through the night. We were so edgy and grumpy we started to take little things out on each other.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 5 months ago

the sleep thing does NOT help. Kiddo woke up 2 or 3 times last night, just makes things really tough.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Sorry to hear. Relationships are tough, especially with kids. Be gentle with yourself and try to respond to the situation and conversations rather than react/defend. Hope the counsellor helps, either way though, from someone who has had 2 marriages end before 40, leaving is sometimes the best option for everyone and life gets to be great again given time. Relationships are absolutely worth fighting for but its definitely not a failure to walk away

[–] [email protected] 4 points 5 months ago

Hope the counsellor helps, either way though, from someone who has had 2 marriages end before 40, leaving is sometimes the best option for everyone and life gets to be great again given time. Relationships are absolutely worth fighting for but its definitely not a failure to walk away

Cheers, yeah agreed. No sense setting ourselves on fire to keep the other warm.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 5 months ago

Sleep, lots and lots of sleep. If you can get a baby sitter over and just use the time to sleep.

don't worry about bringing the baby into your bed to get some sleep, everyone does it

and hugs

[–] [email protected] 17 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) (1 children)

Woops. Apparently had a tiny bingle while parking on a narrow mountain trail in Japan and was in such a rush that I didn't even notice I had bumped into anyone else. The other driver had a dashcam though so they got in touch with the police and I had an urgent email from the rental company, who thank god took care of everything - there was no excess or fine or anything and they reassured me it was all okay and everything was covered. Couldn't sleep last night from the anxiety and just gave a statement at the cop shop so that the relative insurances could follow up. I'm so grateful for the lovely lady at the rental car place who was extremely calming and reassuring... 😔

[–] [email protected] 5 points 5 months ago

So stressful in a foreign country! Glad it turned out OK.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 5 months ago (2 children)

I just went to a doc appointment. We discussed migraines. An hour later I’m on instagram and I get a migraine medication ad. I had not googled anything about migraines or headaches or anything vaguely related. I’ve been working in tech for over 20 years now, and I’m now convinced it is all listening. It’s not just a paranoia any more.

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[–] [email protected] 12 points 5 months ago (3 children)

Just applied for new internal role for first time ever, been here over four years. Fingers crossed

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[–] [email protected] 10 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) (2 children)

rant about the roomates situation

Looks like things are going to be quite turbulent over the next fortnight. Unfortunately our program coordinator went on leave and she's been replaced with a new case manager 2 months into the role who works half the days the program coordinator does, while she still has to be a case manager. Naturally, that's not really how time works, so communication and advocacy has been... Lacking. (For context the program coordinator is a full time role, and the case manager should ideally be a full time role but has always been part time, usually 4 days a week)

They've decided that they want to move the new YP in on the 5th (it was meant to be pushed back until the 16th so that things would work out better), but they decided that the poor woman holding the fort is able to co-ordinate a transition from both a case manager and coordination perspective on 3 days a week 🤦‍♂️

Unfortunately because of several communication breakdowns, the lead tenant that's still here is realllly pissed off and has decided to move out a month early and is now going to leave on the 3rd which is going to be interesting. They really can't move anybody in without a lead tenant, but it's about a 50/50 as to whether they're going to push it back until the next one moves in, or they'll try and put support workers here every day.

I know support workers don't sound that bad, but because this is an independent program, the "support" workers just fall asleep on the couch and play flappy birds on their phones, and fuck around with the damn air con. It's also really uncomfortable having a stranger sleeping on your couch.

Also I'm off to Mildura from the 6th-11th, so I don't know whether that works out good or bad for me. I guess it means old mate will get a few days to acclimate to the new environment without me in the way, but also feels like it might be a cluster fuck.

I have mixed feelings about it all. It hasn't quite hit me yet, but I've been through worse, so I guess this isn't that bad. At the end of the day, I don't have a choice though. If shit hits the fan I don't have anywhere to bail to, I'll be going down with the ship. So I guess there's some level of comfort in that - I can't do shit about it, so there's not much use worrying about it. But logic isn't how emotions and feelings work ¯\_⁠(⁠ツ⁠)⁠_⁠/⁠¯

[–] [email protected] 7 points 5 months ago

^ This + 14 degrees in my room = no sleep

[–] [email protected] 5 points 5 months ago (3 children)

wow that's sounds like a clusterduck. I hope it remains a vaguely stable place for you despite everyone else's mess. Please vent all you need here.

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[–] [email protected] 10 points 5 months ago (5 children)

Welp the call this morning with MC doctor was short and sweet. Just said she'll add some prescriptions to my portal in a few hours and we'll have a follow-up in a couple of weeks. And to reach out with any questions or anything.

In other news, our new MacBook Pros arrived in the office today (we bought 6 and one is for me) so I'm currently on a tram to go get it. It's a gorgeous day outside.

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[–] [email protected] 10 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Remember how everyone was having really weird dreams if not nightmares yesterday? Well last night was my turn. Urrrgh.

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[–] [email protected] 10 points 5 months ago (4 children)

I'm getting a latch for the toilet door. She's figured out how to open it. Lucky she doesn't have opposable thumbs...

[–] [email protected] 7 points 5 months ago

She made a nest!

[–] [email protected] 5 points 5 months ago

she is so cheeky 💖 but I still love her

[–] [email protected] 4 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Looks comfy. Glad my cat isn’t smart enough to do that 🤣

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[–] [email protected] 10 points 5 months ago (7 children)

Made a kickass lentil soup yesterday for dinner. Really hit the spot.

As much as I love lentils and how good they are for me, my digestive tract gets a bit upset the following day.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Love me some Lentils. Really getting into the beans and lentils lately! Price of meat certainly helps. I had a crack at a coconut chickpea curry. Pride forced me to finish the plate, but the Mrs was diplomatic in her "Yeahhhhhh look I appreciate the effort and I'm sure you'll get it right next time! but... i couldn't finish it"

[–] [email protected] 5 points 5 months ago (4 children)

Try this one

Since starting to shop at my local asian grocer, my curry game has lifted. The thai and malaysian curry bases are heavens above anything from Colesworth.

Beans and coconut rice are good too.

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[–] [email protected] 9 points 5 months ago

Movie review. Anatomy of a Fall. A very subtle and powerful story of sexism ( I'm sure the town wouldn't have pursued her if she was "nice" ) and male ego ( husband just couldn't bear her success nor the social belief that being a carer has no value. ) Reminded me of witch trials.

Slow movie, very much worth it.

4.5 hobbits

[–] [email protected] 8 points 5 months ago

....... pakige ........

[–] [email protected] 8 points 5 months ago (2 children)

Woke up feeling like i'd just been physically threatened. Wtf

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[–] [email protected] 8 points 5 months ago (2 children)

I fucking hate recruiters. Guy rings me Friday 4pm. I call him back, he's on a call.

I leave a message.

I call back this morning. "he's in a meeting". Sure sure buddy. An almost 5 hour meeting for a recruiter.

Get absolutely fucked.

/Rant

[–] [email protected] 7 points 5 months ago (1 children)

“he’s in a meeting”

Nup, him and his dickhead recruiter mates are all having a circle jerk over a mirror in the boardroom. Sometimes they let the realestate agents from next door join in. Its the only way either of 'em ever get any love.

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[–] [email protected] 5 points 5 months ago (1 children)

It could be reasonable that they are sometimes on calls, eg interviews reference checks, client calls etc, but I reckon not returning your call twice is probably a sign. The right thing will come along.

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[–] [email protected] 7 points 5 months ago (2 children)

It's a Sunday kind of Monday ...

[–] [email protected] 5 points 5 months ago (2 children)

I thought it was Tuesday

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[–] [email protected] 4 points 5 months ago

I had a June kind of May moment earlier.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 5 months ago

Roadworks update, I decided to call the council because they're doing even more roadworks now. They've closed off all the streets around me as well and we still haven't received anything in our letterbox or anything like that. I decided to call the council to see what's happening and how long the works are going for. Apparently it's a "minor" drainage upgrade and they're doing more next month.

She said they were meant to have sent us a letter about the works and also seemed confused I had no clue what was happening

[–] [email protected] 6 points 5 months ago (2 children)

Nothing makes you more aware of how dirty your car is than handing the keys to someone else.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 5 months ago

Or take a photo and then look at said photo.

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[–] [email protected] 6 points 5 months ago (4 children)

I don't think I'll ever get tired of looking at the night sky. Did anyone else think the stars were tinged with green and sparkled more than usual on the nights of the aurora?

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[–] [email protected] 6 points 5 months ago

Up early, a coffee and a half deep already. Nothing to do today besides the dishes, and some washing.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 5 months ago (7 children)

Is it possible to eat cocktail frankfurts without tomato sauce or is that a crazy person thing?

[–] [email protected] 4 points 5 months ago

yes, but you still yearn for the sauce

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[–] [email protected] 5 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Let's replace the water pipes with banh mi pipes. I think it'll improve my mornings

[–] [email protected] 4 points 5 months ago (1 children)

showers could get problematic though

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[–] [email protected] 4 points 5 months ago (4 children)

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