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The original was posted on /r/aitah by /u/ai75 on 2023-10-01 22:34:47.
What would you do? A moral dilemma
CW: Infidelity, pregnancy
I’m turning to the Internet and this community for advice here. I’m at a loss on what to do…
My sister and I (both 32) have been no contact for about a year. Part of the reason for this (on my part at least), is her incredibly questionable morality. I’m not a judgemental or puritanical person at all, but I do have a moral compass and have been increasingly bothered by her actions that are clearly harmful to others.
She works a highly paid job for a large company in our capital city. And she is sleeping with her boss. Okay, she is lonely and I know she very much wants a loving relationship.
Except that, aside from being her superior at work, this guy is married. He claims that his wife has mental health issues and, because of this, isn’t being a good wife to him. Their other major relationship issue was that he desperately wanted children but she was on the fence and they couldn’t conceive without help. So, on his insistence, she is undergoing IVF.
While he is sleeping with my sister, his employee.
To be clear, I don’t know them. I have never met either the man or his wife. But I feel so awful knowing about this and not doing anything. Even though arguably, I owe them nothing, or maybe even owe loyalty to my sister. Her job would be at risk if this came out.
But, I have been through pregnancy, and I’ve experienced poor mental health. I guess I just empathise so badly with this woman even though I don’t know her.
So, googled the company my sister works for and tried to figure out who the guy was, but he has a very common first name. I didn’t know his last name, so I couldn’t figure out who he was.
My mum visited recently. She is still in contact with my sister and knows the whole situation. When I told her I had looked the guy up, she immediately told me his last name and his wife’s first name. She told me that what I do with the information is up to me, but the implication was that she also thought that the wife should know.
So, now I’m pretty sure I’ve found both the guy and his wife online. What do I do? I really want to let her know what I know, but… would she want to know? She might be pregnant already. Would it be better to just let it go?
Plus, I’m pretty sure that if I did anything my sister would work it out and it would be the final nail in the coffin of our relationship. I’m not sure if I care about that.
If you were in the wife’s shoes, what would you want?