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The comm is open again (hexbear.net)
submitted 1 week ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
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Please chime in with the type of content and discussion you would like to see hear.

I’ve left up all the old posts instead of doing a thorough pruning (apparently it closed due to a lack of moderation letting too much slip through the cracks). If you’re interested in helping out without posting or moderating please report actively, while there is value in calling out in the comments and trying to teach leaving anything egregious up for too long could promote people blocking the comm even if they might otherwise want to see the “good” posts and/or milder learning opportunities.

Should probably do a poll on whether to be local only as well once it’s active again. So Sopranos emotes if you have an opinion on that.

Cheers

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[-] [email protected] 13 points 1 week ago

ey good to see!! as some of ya'll probably know i'd been more informally megathread posting about how patriarchy and conventional masculinity hurt us men and men-adjacents, good to have a dedicated space to discuss (among many, many other things) how it emotionally warps us and how we can show up in our lives as more caring and sweet people. Also could be a good avenue for venting about things like the ways in which modern dating norms hurt mascs (which while not as bad as femmes, are distinctly different and soul crushing in their own ways) without clogging up other feeds. Idk just my two cents, not at all comprehensive!

[-] [email protected] 9 points 1 week ago

Yeah, I think it's important to acknowledge that toxic masculinity was not a term that emerged from women but rather it came from men as a way to describe the corrosive effects that masculinity demands of them

this post was submitted on 24 Jun 2024
28 points (100.0% liked)

menby

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2 users here now

A space for masculine folks to talk about living under patriarchy.

Detoxing masculinity since 1990!

You don’t get points for feminism, feminism is expected.

Guidelines:

  1. Questions over blame
  2. Humility over pride
  3. Wisdom over dogma
  4. Actions over image

Rules (expansions on the guidelines):

  1. Mistakes should be learning experiences when possible.
    • Do not attack comrades displaying vulnerability for what they acknowledge are mistakes.
    • If you see good-faith behavior that's toxic, do your best to explain why it's toxic.
    • If you don't have the energy to engage, report and move on.
    • This includes past mistakes. If you've overcome extreme reactionary behavior, we'd love to know how.
    • A widened range of acceptable discussion means a greater need for sensitivity and patience for your comrades.
    • Examples:
      • "This is reactionary. Here's why."
      • "I know that {reality}, but I feel like {toxicity}"
      • "I don't understand why this is reactionary, but it feels like it {spoilered details}"
  2. You are not entitled to the emotional labor of others.
    • Constantly info-dumping and letting us sort through your psyche is not healthy for any of us.
    • If you feel a criticism of you is unfair, do not lash out.
    • If you can't engage self-critically, delete your post.
    • If you don't know how to phrase why it's unfair, say so.
  3. No singular masculine ideal.
    • This includes promoting gender-neutral traits like "courage" or "integrity" as "manly".
    • Suggestions for an individual to replace a toxic ideal is fine.
    • Don't reinforce the idea the fulfillment requires masculinity.
    • This also includes tendency struggle-sessions.
  4. No lifestyle content.
    • Post the picture of your new grill in !food (feminine people like grills too smh my head).
    • Post the picture of the fish you caught in !sports (feminine people like fish too smdh my damn head).
    • At best, stuff like this is off-topic. At worst, it's reinforcing genders norms..
    • If you're not trying to be seen as masculine for your lifestyle content, it's irrelevant to this comm. If you are trying to be seen as masculine, let's have a discussion about why these things are seen as masculine.

Resources:

*The Will to Change: Men, Masculinity, and Love by Bell Hooks

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