this post was submitted on 27 Jun 2024
160 points (96.5% liked)

Not The Onion

11625 readers
739 users here now

Welcome

We're not The Onion! Not affiliated with them in any way! Not operated by them in any way! All the news here is real!

The Rules

Posts must be:

  1. Links to news stories from...
  2. ...credible sources, with...
  3. ...their original headlines, that...
  4. ...would make people who see the headline think, “That has got to be a story from The Onion, America’s Finest News Source.”

Comments must abide by the server rules for Lemmy.world and generally abstain from trollish, bigoted, or otherwise disruptive behavior that makes this community less fun for everyone.

And that’s basically it!

founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
 

Too bad I'm in menopause.

top 34 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] [email protected] 48 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

Lul, how are they marketing them?
Teabags for vampires?

[–] [email protected] 27 points 1 month ago (2 children)

I don’t like to kink shame but I’ll do it when it needs to be done.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 month ago

Well? Now's a good time.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 month ago (1 children)

What if being shamed is my kink?

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 month ago
[–] [email protected] 21 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

Headlines like this really make me question how many critically online creeps who probably have never seen a singlular woman besides their mom before are out there buying this kinda stuff.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Assuming this is between two consenting parties (I.e the person knows where their tampon is going), what makes them a creep?

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 month ago

I am one of those people who thinks it's just creepy regardless of the situation for someone to want to willingly buy used hygiene products. The people selling their used hygiene products, weird, but not creepy in my mind like the buyers.

[–] [email protected] 19 points 1 month ago (3 children)

Is there any risk of them being used to taint a crime scene?

[–] [email protected] 15 points 1 month ago

Heh. Taint.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Don't think so, it's basically dried blood.

[–] [email protected] 19 points 1 month ago (1 children)

It's all dried blood, eventually.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 month ago (1 children)

While we're being gruesomely pedantic, it's not technically blood

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 month ago

it looks like a duck and tastes like a duck

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 month ago

No differently than using bleach I'd assume

[–] Jolteon 19 points 1 month ago (2 children)

It's gamer girl bath water all over again, but the adult version.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 month ago (1 children)

The gamer girl is also an adult.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Would be so much more fucked up if that'd be child water

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Even just the phrase "child water" sounds all fucked up.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

It's alright when you mean a water meant for drinking by children; it's actually a bit special in its content, and it's good to have that.

It's very much not alright when we mean child bathwater :D

Though, if you want to go a full rabbit hole, I have a special thing for you from one of Chinese provinces...

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 month ago

EYYY BOI, YOU ARE MY FAVORITE! Once I get you into this ball, we're gonna go on an adventure!

[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 month ago (2 children)

now imagine a dildo full of sensors that can map pressure and then a sexhole that can replay those pressures back in sequence.

or vice versa. whats the market potential for feeling the action?

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 month ago

now imagine a dildo full of sensors that can map pressure and then a sexhole that can replay those pressures back in sequence.

Like FUFMe?

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 month ago

Market already filled.

Teledildonics - Wikipedia - https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Teledildonics

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I mean, I get nosebleeds some times. Am I throwing away profits?

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

Unless you breathe with your pussy, no

Who knows horny men, though...

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 month ago (2 children)

But how would they know the difference?

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Are we expecting these customers to knowthe difference? I'm over here formulating a business plan, so let me know please.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

Well, if they are return customers from some other offering...

Otherwise nah, they don't.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 month ago

I suppose of the bleed is bad enough, and clots enough, they can't tell em apart.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 month ago

This really feels like an "I'm done with the Internet for the evening" kinda story.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 month ago

You're probably still good. They probably aren't going to check where the bid came from, or even if it's yours.