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Rush order (lemmy.world)
submitted 4 days ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
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[-] [email protected] 80 points 3 days ago

Nah fuck this army I'm gonna go recruit some immortal ghost soldiers instead. Do whatever you want with these I'm out.

[-] [email protected] 28 points 3 days ago

That... That right there made me hate the entire trilogy.. So we're slowly overwhelmed, we're slowly losing and being killed and the situation is so dire and... Oh there is the immortal deux ex machina guys just trampling over the enemy killing them all in a minute aaaaand we're done!

It was so anti climactic

[-] [email protected] 34 points 3 days ago

Agreed, I had the same thoughts with Oppenheimer. They just invent a big scary bomb and that ends the war? What an anti-climatic ending.

[-] [email protected] 10 points 3 days ago

Kinda like the war. Island hoping through the Pacific theater for ages, then they just drop two extre spicy bombs and the whole deal is done

[-] [email protected] 9 points 3 days ago

For their defense they never had something that spicy

[-] [email protected] 4 points 3 days ago

That’s like whipping out a Carolina Reaper when you’re only used to Jalepeños…

[-] [email protected] 2 points 2 days ago

Ohhh, I'm about to compete in the Australian chilli eating championship.

We're going well above Reapers.

Tomorrow is going to really suck for my body

[-] [email protected] 2 points 2 days ago

What is above Reapers? Pure capsaicin? Resiniferatoxin?

[-] [email protected] 1 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

Reapers pull in around 1,500,000 to 2,200,000 SHU Then there is Pepper X which is 2,693,000 SHU.

After that extracts which range all the way up to pure capsaicin which is 16,000,000 SHU.

Nothing can be hotter then that. People claim hotter by saying you can stack two 10m extracts etc but that's just volume not technically hotter.

...

Update I pulled out 4th my stomach couldn't handle it. Got the biggest cramps so I'm lying on my bed suffering at the moment waiting for the cramps to pass

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[-] [email protected] 25 points 3 days ago

To be fair the entire army itself was just a distraction so that frodo could destroy the ring. The ghosts weren't what caused them to win, they just prevented the death of the bait.

[-] [email protected] 5 points 3 days ago

Right but, why bother with smoke and mirrors when you have an immortal unbeatable army in the first place.

Even in the book its not really explained why the oathbreakers only help out for one fight; the only difference is in the books they never actually go to Minas Tirith they just help against the corsairs.

[-] [email protected] 15 points 3 days ago

Presumably Sauron could've destroyed the ghosts, he was just a little distracted at that time frame, or not yet able or willing to face them directly. Like the Eagles, they can't really tackle the Sauron problem, so aren't as much of a solve as they appear.

Also the reason they only fight in the final battle I think is because that is the only battle they're bound to fight in, I'm not even sure you could use them to fight any other battle than against Sauron's armies.

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[-] [email protected] 64 points 3 days ago

Give each guy two spears. Now you have twice the spears and you didn't even have to find more guys.

Contact me for more tips on defeating dark lords.

[-] [email protected] 24 points 3 days ago

Maybe they have plenty of guys but not enough spears? 6000 spearheads is a lot of work for 3 days. Ask any blacksmith!

[-] [email protected] 20 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago)

TBH it's really easy to find spearmen if you have the spears. They require vastly less training than a swordsman or shieldbearer.

"Keep the pointy end towards the enemy at all times."

"Sir, I'm a seasoned wheat farmer, I know how point sticks work thank you very much."

[-] [email protected] 6 points 3 days ago

The Dark Lord summoned 1000 hot naked succubus and my men's about to succumb to the lure, how do i proceed?

[-] [email protected] 5 points 3 days ago

Gays to the vanguard?

[-] [email protected] 8 points 3 days ago

Good idea, but that still would be less than Aragorn hoped for

[-] [email protected] 4 points 3 days ago

What would you do if you had 6000 spears and your high maintenance royal friend says it's one third of what he hoped for?

[-] [email protected] 8 points 3 days ago

Distribute copies of Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue along with each additional spear.

[-] [email protected] 4 points 3 days ago

Now that's what I call thinking with spears.

[-] [email protected] 43 points 3 days ago

This is a good sword.

It's a piece of shit, Aragorn, and you know it. Stop gaslighting people.

[-] [email protected] 6 points 3 days ago

Think of it more like a placebo pill for bravery.

[-] [email protected] 1 points 2 days ago

Why though? I don't think that Rohans problem was lack of proper swords. Giving it to a boy maybe 12-14 years old, because there is not enough men of fighting age was the problem at the time. But i don't think the Orcs would have made concessions bc. of that.

[-] [email protected] 21 points 3 days ago

So he was hoping for at least 12002 spears.

[-] [email protected] 10 points 3 days ago
[-] [email protected] 4 points 3 days ago

Or even 12000 + a broken one

[-] [email protected] 41 points 4 days ago

I mean...the only way you could get more spears in less time is if you made some kind of pact with an army of undead!

[-] [email protected] 31 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago)

Théoden: "What do you expect of me? Run down to some cave and conjure up an undead army?"

Aragorn: brb

[-] [email protected] 11 points 3 days ago

Hey, you know another thing like this post comes to a new light, knowing that aragorn is OLDER than the king

[-] [email protected] 13 points 3 days ago

So like, weren't these guys just a week prior to this fighting an existential battle against tens of thousands of Uruks? Shouldn't he know about how many soldiers and horses he has left and that they're extremely depleted?

[-] [email protected] 8 points 3 days ago

The Rohirrim were spread out dealing with raiding parties until after Helm's Deep. Contextually we're to understand that about half their available manpower is either dealing with other problems or just didn't answer the muster.

[-] [email protected] 16 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago)

Weren't both of the first 2 lines from Theoden?

Edit: https://youtu.be/0FtLgOygkJ4?si=qZfrCKvsg5k3gbW2?t=49s

Begins at 49 seconds - can't get the timestamp linking to work.

Or even better - start at 0:00 on the extended edition of Fellowship and work your way there.

[-] [email protected] 13 points 3 days ago

If I don't remember, does that mean it's time for another rewatch?

[-] [email protected] 12 points 3 days ago

does that mean it’s time for another rewatch?

Doesn't matter. The answer to "time for another rewatch?" is always yes.

[-] [email protected] 7 points 3 days ago

It's never a bad time for that.

[-] [email protected] 6 points 3 days ago

It's 2am and all I have are the extended edition DVDs.

[-] [email protected] 6 points 3 days ago

Long day ahead of you my friend. We don't stop till nightfall. Enjoy.

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[-] [email protected] 17 points 4 days ago

Aragorn you ungrateful bitch

[-] [email protected] 11 points 4 days ago

The village blacksmith worked as hard as he could ok!!

[-] [email protected] 8 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago)

And on top of all that y'all got him sharpening Hobbit swords like they're gonna do anything.

#WasteHisTimeTA3019

[-] [email protected] 4 points 3 days ago

He's a badass. When your battlecry is "DEATH!" You know some shits about to happen .

[-] [email protected] 5 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago)
[-] [email protected] 5 points 3 days ago

Bernard Hill does look a lot alike in certain angles; never seen it before myself but you pointing it out and now I can't not see it.

[-] [email protected] 4 points 3 days ago

Human slaves! In an orcish nation! Ah ah ah ha ha!

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this post was submitted on 03 Jul 2024
927 points (98.8% liked)

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