this post was submitted on 13 Jul 2024
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AskBeehaw

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I'm not sure if I should mark this as 'NSFW' even though I don't like that term and don't think it's really necessary, just wondering in general without any specifics, I have anyway, just in case.

I have looked around Lemmy and mostly found subpar 'BDSM Communities' that aren't imo the best (because they seem to have a very specific idea of what BDSM is) and BDSM only covers one aspect of kink anyway.

So I was wondering if there were any well moderated more encompassing communities out there, and if not what would be the best way of creating one besides running my own instance (which I do not have the money nor skills to do)?

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[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I think if you talk to the people at lemmynsfw.com you might be able to find a space there. They certainly won't blacklist you for the content, even if you don't like the term.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Thank you!

To be clear about my dislike of the term it's twofold: One it excludes sex workers (because sex work is real work thus saying not safe for work is weird considering that) and it's also not explicit enough about what kind of thing is behind the warning. Is it lewd? Is it drugs? What exactly is the thing that might not be safe to view at work? Sure there might be other context clues sometimes, but that's not always a guarantee.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 month ago

I don't think it necessarily excludes sex workers, it's just one of those terms that means more than the literal words. For example, just because it's not safe for work, doesn't mean it is then safe for all other situations, like a dinner with extended family.

If you wanted to redo the term to be more literally accurate, I suppose you could say "About or Depicts a Subject that you would rather not have to explain or openly reveal to someone whose beliefs or relationship with you are not casual enough to ensure that, without a doubt, their comfort with you will remain the same after being exposed to your viewing of said content, either in a professional or publicly social setting"

I am honestly not sure how to make that any shorter while encompassing all of what I feel NSFW has truly come to represent for society. It's similar, though not identical, to other words that may have originally meant one thing, but have come to mean another through the years.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 month ago (1 children)

You're right, it's a very broad term with a few weird gaps. Perhaps society will start defining some new terms, tags, descriptors or whatever to add that nuance. Good luck with your endeavors!

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 month ago

Thank you for understanding and I hope so!

Thank you, you too!

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 month ago (1 children)

In case it helps, this is the most useful Lemmy community search tool that I've found:

https://lemmyverse.net/communities

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 month ago

Thank you, I'll take a look!

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I haven't encountered any though I also haven't looked. If you searched and didn't find any, by all means start one.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 month ago

Thank you for letting me know and yeah that's fair. I think doing so is disabled or something on the instance I'm on sadly and I'm not sure which instances it isn't or if the admins/moderators of the instance I'm on would even allow me to if I asked.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Out of curiosity, what is a kink community exactly? What do you do there? Just talk about it?

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

Well, what I imagined was a community where we could talk about various kinks, consent, boundaries, good and bad ideas, discuss things and perhaps share media that the posters have made i.e. no media of scenes etc that weren't made by the posters and all people involved in the scene etc have to consent, for example.

It would have fair but explicit rules about what kind of things could be talked about and posted (like mentioned above).

Too many communities around BDSM (using that term here because it's what they often use) online seem to be full of really dreadful ideas or seem to focus only on specific types of bodies and it's unclear about whether consent was given sometimes to post such things there.

I'd love to see a vibrant community where really caring about consent, safety etc is the expectation and it wasn't just focused on the mainstream idea of kink or certain body types always doing the more 'extreme' stuff. I have some that are like that but some are just happy, flowery little kinks and I don't see enough of those talked about in those spaces often.