this post was submitted on 17 Aug 2024
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aww

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[–] [email protected] 104 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago) (6 children)

Max is already in the library.

[–] [email protected] 58 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Max now owns the library, and would like to make some changes.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago)

Change number one: All late fees must be paid in cat treats.

Change two: All dog owners are banned from entering the library.

[–] [email protected] 23 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

Max has always been in the library.
Max will always be in the library.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 3 weeks ago

This whole thing has a very "Welcome to Nightvale" vibe to it.

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[–] [email protected] 19 points 3 weeks ago

Knowing my inattentive ass I would have read that sign after happily letting max into the library.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 3 weeks ago

Max is the library

[–] [email protected] 8 points 3 weeks ago

Max has always been in the library.

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[–] [email protected] 85 points 3 weeks ago (3 children)

This could honestly be a 90s kids cartoon. Every week Max has a new plan to get into the Library, with the intent of knocking books off the shelf. And every week, the mean librarian has to try to stop his plan.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

What do you want to do today, Max?

TRY TO GET IN TO THE LIBRARY!! 😼

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[–] [email protected] 10 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 6 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago)

Hairy Larry and the Library.

On second thought, yours still sounds more kid-friendly.

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[–] [email protected] 79 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago) (4 children)

Max should not be outdoors unleashed and unsupervised.

[–] [email protected] 48 points 3 weeks ago (7 children)

Yup. I know cats can do better roaming free than most pets, but that doesn’t mean it’s safe for them, and it’s certainly not safe for the local bird population.

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[–] [email protected] 8 points 3 weeks ago (4 children)

100%. Cats are fine, but wild birds are better.

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[–] [email protected] 55 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

I used to work in the ER years ago in a small community hospital, and this neighborhood cat had figured out how the automatic doors on the ambulance ramp worked, and would slip in behind the paramedics and go curl up in the triage chair and wait for patients to come to the window to say hi. She also made rounds of the neighbouring nursing home and hospice on a regular basis.

[–] [email protected] 31 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

Sounds like it was collecting souls

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[–] [email protected] 47 points 3 weeks ago

Let Max in the library!

[–] [email protected] 36 points 3 weeks ago (5 children)

Meanwhile Max is decimating the local bird population, and risking getting hit by cars.

[–] [email protected] 20 points 3 weeks ago

He's living his life to its Maximum.

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[–] [email protected] 28 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Guards. Make sure Max doesn't enter the library under any circumstance.

Right, keep max in the library, even if he wants to leave.

No, no. Keep max out of the library at all times.

We don't have to do anything other than keep Max in the library.

Out of the library...

Oh, I remember. Can he enter the library with us?

[–] [email protected] 6 points 3 weeks ago

Guards: ..... please come with us, Emperor Max has ordered us to arrest you

[–] [email protected] 28 points 3 weeks ago (3 children)

WHY would you not want Max in the library?

[–] [email protected] 25 points 3 weeks ago

"Here is nothing missing, but a cat urinated on this during a certain night. Cursed be the pesty cat that urinated over this book during the night in Deventer and because of it many others [other cats] too. And beware well not to leave open books at night where cats can come."

https://medievalfragments.wordpress.com/2013/02/22/paws-pee-and-mice-cats-among-medieval-manuscripts/

[–] [email protected] 6 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

He relentlessly hassles the librarians over their "woke agendas."

[–] [email protected] 10 points 3 weeks ago

In this case woke agendas means pets and treats

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[–] [email protected] 25 points 3 weeks ago (5 children)

I wonder what Max did to get banished from the library.

[–] [email protected] 19 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Having cats I would bet he peed in the library

[–] [email protected] 11 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Yes, probably, but I want to think in my mind that it was something super chaotic and daring, like a furry super-villain.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Typical cat just knocking things off shelves - the library is an inexhaustible playground.

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[–] [email protected] 10 points 3 weeks ago

Meow at the door until someone opens it, then not go outside and go back to sleep on someone's reading material.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)
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[–] [email protected] 6 points 3 weeks ago

Max has left the library. Max has been saved.

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[–] [email protected] 20 points 3 weeks ago

Instructions clear, have filled the library with cats not named Max

[–] [email protected] 20 points 3 weeks ago
[–] [email protected] 17 points 3 weeks ago (3 children)

I had a doggie named Max. He had bat ears. We called him BatMax. He died over two years ago. Now I miss Max.

Not your fault, obviously.

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[–] [email protected] 13 points 3 weeks ago

I'm afraid I can't stand for this.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Let Max into library now!!

[–] [email protected] 8 points 3 weeks ago
[–] [email protected] 13 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago)

This is not fair, why do everyone else’s opinions matter more and are in a larger font? Max can make his own decisions!

[–] [email protected] 11 points 3 weeks ago

Don't let your cats roam. Especially if you don't want them places they shouldn't be. It's irresponsible and there are mountains of data on why it's bad. But an anecdotal one from me, I live in a c complex in a residential neighborhood, where we often see roaming cats. We also see them dead after they ingest poisoned mice from nearby businesses, and get eaten by coyotes which are not uncommon around here.

Aside from that, it's just terrible for the environment and ecosystem.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 3 weeks ago

I would definitely let him in

[–] [email protected] 8 points 3 weeks ago

Petition to let Max in the Library, now!

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