this post was submitted on 19 Aug 2024
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[–] [email protected] 163 points 3 weeks ago

“After careful consideration of your proposal, I will not be attending lunch with you last Friday.”

[–] [email protected] 75 points 3 weeks ago (8 children)

This is one of several reasons I eventually ditched Facebook... People would text me a bunch of bullshit drama on FB messenger while I was at work and couldn't stop to look at it, then start sending me more messages asking why I wasn't responding lol

[–] [email protected] 55 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago) (11 children)

I would hate to be a teenager in this day and age. The amount of drama that gets started over shit like you're talking about is insane.

As shitty as Facebook is, Snapchat takes that and dials it up to an 11.

I have it on good info from my 16 year old that it is completely unacceptable to:

  • Leave a snap (message) unopened for any major length of time. How long is highly subjective.
  • Open a snap and not respond.
  • Group chat.
  • Send a normal message that doesn't include a cringy photo of half your face.

Kids actually get upset over this stuff.

I'm just like, "I have a phone number. You can call or text it. If I feel like talking to you I'll answer. If that's a problem for you, too damn bad."

[–] [email protected] 21 points 3 weeks ago (4 children)

Social media was a mistake and a phone camera is the worst invention of our lifetimes.

We destroyed society for absolute shit.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 3 weeks ago

Phone cameras are actually pretty cool imo. Social media was def a mistake tho.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 3 weeks ago

But for a time, a few shareholders got super rich! So totally great tradeoff, 100% worth it.

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[–] [email protected] 15 points 3 weeks ago

open a snap and not respond

THIS is the crazy one for me.... I'm not a big user anymore but when I was, my friends and I used it for sending bullshit that didn't require a response. Snapchat is awful for actual conversation

[–] [email protected] 11 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

hi, teenager here, yeah it sucks ass and i lost a lot of friendships over simple petty shit that didn’t matter

they were sensitive and i guess i grew up a bit differently

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[–] [email protected] 7 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

And it gets worse than that - my partner is an admin at a high school, and the cyber bullying, filming of fights, and the viral TikTok trends that make students just do overall dumb shit at school is insane. Not to mention the students who have IG pics posing with guns that have a vaguely threatening caption. The teachers and admins have to try and monitor all that, if they can. Luckily a lot of the students who see it first do notify someone. It’s just a whole new world. So glad I didn’t have to deal with that shit when I was in school.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

That amazes me too. My original point wasn't to shit on kids. A lot of them don't know any better and their parents failed them by letting them go skipping into the digital crack houses that are smart phones. Myself included.

But I find it fascinating how much "social" media seems to have increased the level of... uh... Dumbass behavior and the need to record and share every damned thing you do. In fairness, it's not just kids that do this.

Most of the time, when my kid is having a dumbass moment, her mom and I already have a pretty good idea that something is up. We are ALWAYS able to confirm it with pictures or videos because these kids seem incapable of doing stupid shit without recording it for posterity.

It always goes something like this:

Me: "Were you drinking at [random friends] house?"

Her: "No. I wouldn't do that."

Me: "Oh. Really?" Plays video of my child falling down drunk

Me: "That's so weird. [Random friend] has another friend that looks exactly like you."

Her: "Whoops."

Me: "Yeah. Whoops."

Don't get me wrong. Teenager me made plenty of stupid decisions and the few camera phones floating around during my high school years weren't good for much. But there was no way in hell I would have let someone take pictures of me doing something that I knew I would have gotten in trouble for. Because sure as shit that photographic evidence would somehow have made it's way to my parents.

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[–] [email protected] 18 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Sorry you posted this 13 minutes ago, and I just responded!

But, there was this person on the internet who was very wrong (not you), and they weren't responding, and it was pissing me off, big time!!!

Sorry again.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 3 weeks ago

Are y'all seeing the bullshit drama that's starting on Lemmy?! There's a post of a screenshot regarding email response times, and it somehow turned into a fight about Facebook. CRAZYYYY

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[–] [email protected] 65 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

One of the principal engineers I used to know had this as theirs:

"I don't always respond to emails on time. If you need me to respond immediately, come to my desk Mon-Wed to say hello. If I'm not there, wait until Mon. If you're in a different country, book a plane ticket the week prior and speak to me on Mon."

The funny part is that they didn't have a desk, and were almost always in a different office to where they were supposed to be.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

I should do this. People always materialise at my shoulder the instant I get my headphones going again, and I can’t just blow them off because I have responsibilities.

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[–] [email protected] 6 points 3 weeks ago

Creatives like artists and engineers really need Maker Time to operate. They got this far in life for a reason.

[–] [email protected] 33 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago) (9 children)

So basically a business week to respond to everything

edit: stop replying to this to tell me I'm a monster for expecting email to be a thing. I honestly don't care, and all you're doing is telling me you have a weird gen z hangup about email, and that you are a problem at your workplace and that you frustrate your coworkers.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Right!? What kind of email correspondence is this person engaged in that takes them 4 days to process and reply to?

I'd be interested to see their timeline for other forms of communication.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

That's what I am thinking. There are some things that make sense to take while but it seems weird to me to ask for a semi-blank check like this. I have coworkers that are awful at responding (weeks oftentimes) and it's super frustrating.

[–] [email protected] 17 points 3 weeks ago (3 children)

If you need a fast response, don't use email. In general, here's my order of urgency and expected time to resolution:

  1. physically meet w/ them or phone call - <1 hr
  2. IM/SMS/etc - <1 day
  3. meeting invitation - by the meeting time
  4. physical mail/note on their desk - 1-2 weeks
  5. email - <1 month, but probably <1 week
  6. create a "ticket" - ??

I try to go as far down that list as possible, but no further.

If you're getting frustrated, it means you're probably going too far down that list.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 3 weeks ago (3 children)

This is wild to me, to be honest.

One of the great things about email, versus IMs and other more real-time forms of communication is that it gives the recipient the ability to address it in a more offline manner. In that way, I've always viewed it as more respective of people's schedule and work habits, since it's naturally asynchronous.

So I'm having trouble following the idea that people would view it as intrusive and obnoxious while also saying that the only way to get a reply from them the same week is to get in front of them with a real-time communication like a call or physical visit--way more disruptive to concentration.

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[–] [email protected] 12 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

I mean, all of this is subjective and relative to context, but if someone can't even respond to let you know they're working on it in under a week, you probably have multiple other issues in your company beyond the individual.

And what does "fast" mean? I'm sending emails that are not urgent to respond to, but it feels like that lack of urgency is milked for all it is worth. I send them to people I know are in meetings all day. That way it's harder for it to get lost. When 6 weeks go by and they've responded in no way, I don't think the problem is that I sent it as an email. Even if it were only like 6 business days, that just feels like they're either extremely disorganized or doing the job of three people (not the case with the biggest offenders at my company).

[–] [email protected] 5 points 3 weeks ago (29 children)

I honestly don't check my work email at all unless I'm expecting something. Like 95% of the stuff there is crap from corporate (person X in dept. Y is retiring, make sure to fill out that survey, etc), and if it's important, someone will mention it in our team meetings and I'll search my email for it. All of our real work happens on Slack (so #2), so we pretty much never go beyond #3.

This certainly varies by company and role, but at least for mine, emails are where you send something if you want to say you sent it, but don't actually want to follow up. So if we have a transient issue with one of our cloud services, I'll email their support department and consider the matter resolved. Maybe they'll fix it eventually, maybe they won't, but it's not worth my time to actually follow up. But if they do respond, that's pretty cool!

That said, if your company culture is to respond to emails quickly, then that's different. I've just never worked at a company or role like that, all of my actual work is over IM or meetings.

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[–] [email protected] 5 points 3 weeks ago

Who said it was a business email?

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[–] [email protected] 27 points 3 weeks ago (6 children)

What the hell is in those e-mails that requires 2 days of pondering?

[–] [email protected] 25 points 3 weeks ago (3 children)

Requests for available meeting times. I figure if I drag my feet on scheduling a meeting someone urgently wants to have they'll eventually just email the fucking questions and save us both 90 minutes of pointless bullshit.

I actually made an online meeting request process with a minimum 2-week turnaround just to make scheduling meetings with my department annoying. I only have so much time, and if I honored all requests I'd be spending 60+ hours a week in meetings and none actually doing my job.

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[–] [email protected] 15 points 3 weeks ago (9 children)

"Would you please send me that report we talked about? And also let me know which time period you would travel back to if you had a time machine and could only use it once?"

[–] [email protected] 13 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

I'd go back to 2019 and marry my wife again 🥰

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[–] [email protected] 12 points 3 weeks ago

I sense a fellow autistic individual

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[–] [email protected] 23 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

This seems really pompous and self important to me. Most people know to not expect an immediate response. I know it’s a joke but to say “it will take me 4 days to acknowledge you” is strange.

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[–] [email protected] 21 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago) (1 children)

Almost 2 decades ago I figured out that, from the very start in a new job, you have to train others to not expect constant availability and immediate response from you.

Things like "work phone and work e-mail are only for work hours" and only checking e-mails once in a while rather than being a slave-to-notifications interrupting anything I might be doing to check any e-mail coming in and replying to it (if you know the psychology of effective working, externally driven frequent interruptions is one of the most unproductive ways to work and is needlessly stressful).

It's pretty hard getting away with changing this later after people have already baked in expectations about your "availability" (personally, I never succeeded in that), but it works if you're doing this kind of "flow control" up front and reliably do eventually get around to look into and addressing whatever people sent you - in fact you're likely more reliable than those providing "immediate availability" because it's a lot easier to have things under control and naturally prioritise by importance, so important stuff won't just "fall to the bottom of the pile" because a bunch of fresh requests came in distracting you away from the more important stuff and you forgot about it.

There are other, more indirect upsides, such as "shit they can solve themselves" from other people seldom getting to you because they know you won't immediatelly drop everything to solve any problem of theirs, so won't just mail you and sit on their arses waiting and instead have a go or two at it themselves and "self-solving problems" (the kind of stuff that turns out not to be a problem but instead a misinterpretation or are caused by temporary conditions elsewhere and out of your control) solving themselves before you get around to looking into them,

That said, I do have a hierarchy of access, with e-mails being treated as less urgent and phone calls as more urgent, though even in the latter I'll consistently (consistency is important in managing other people's expectations) push back - i.e. "send me an e-mail and I'll look into it when I have availability" - if somebody calls me with stuff that's not important and urgent enough to justify using that "channel".

All this to say that for me what's in this post just looks like a more advanced version of what I do for time management, productivity and stress control.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

I learned this when I got into Tech Support and switched to an engineer.

TechSupport. I was on tickets all the time so if you ping me on teams I'd ping back immediately if I was free or within 2 min if I was on a call.

Engineer? Nope. Might get a ping back before lunch if you're lucky. I prefer not to break my concentration scripting. It fucks upy flow.

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[–] [email protected] 19 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

In my experience, it's normal for people to just never respond to emails.

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[–] [email protected] 10 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

It's interesting to read the comments here. Without taking a stance, it looks like everyone has a different personal experience in terms of how fast their life circle expects them to respond digitally.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago)

I see it as two types of people.

Managers expect quick responses. They jump into meetings. They ask for frequent status updates. They're pissed when you ignore them for a day.

Makers need time to think and create. They code for hours of uninterrupted time. They're generating art or fine tuning a song. Asking for a status update is an interruption, and every interruption isn't a lost moment, but a severe disruption.

You're seeing that in the comments. Some are makers. Some are managers. We both require different things.

You can read more about it here: Makers vs managers schedule

[–] [email protected] 9 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago)

Maybe the answer is to have a proper inbox tray. The business doesn’t really understand that we (as in software developers) don’t even know that email exists. We’re not colour coding everything that comes in and cleaning them up when they’re processed, and we will not see your email amid all the auto-generated crap.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 3 weeks ago (3 children)
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[–] [email protected] 6 points 3 weeks ago (3 children)

Here's the thing. If it's from someone internal, we have instant messaging if say u want some kind of message instantly. If I get an email, I'm assuming I have time to action it. If I'm not busy, sure, I'll action it right away, but if I am and I see an email come in from someone internal not marked high importance, there's a good chance I'm not even reading it for like 2-3 hours maybe more. I absolutely hate when someone sends an email and a follow up like an hour later. If it's urgent, u need to convey that in some way, shape, or form.

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[–] [email protected] 6 points 3 weeks ago

Being able to prioritize what needs to be done now and what could take 4 days, and what can simply not be done is an art.

Both on the sender and de receiver.

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