this post was submitted on 19 Aug 2024
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Former Rep. George Santos, R-N.Y., who was expelled from the House of Representatives after being indicted on 23 federal counts including fraud and misusing campaign funds, pleaded guilty Monday in federal court to two of the charges.

The Long Island Republican faces a mandatory two-year minimum sentence after pleading guilty to wire fraud and aggravated identity theft. But Judge Joanna Seybert estimated the term could range from six to eight years behind bars when he is sentenced on Feb. 7, 2025. Santos also agreed to pay nearly $374,000 in restitution.

Santos had faced trial in September on charges including laundering campaign funds to pay for his personal expenses, charging donors' credit cards without their consent, and receiving unemployment benefits while he was employed.

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top 38 comments
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[–] [email protected] 76 points 2 months ago

We're so proud of our Republicans.

[–] [email protected] 70 points 2 months ago (3 children)

The guy so corrupt even GOP didn't want him around.

[–] [email protected] 59 points 2 months ago

The problem was he had too little money to play the game

[–] [email protected] 19 points 2 months ago

Honestly, I just can't bring myself to hate him. He's so emblematic of the cartoonish insanity and corruption of his Party, all with such hilarious flair. I dunno

[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 months ago

Flagrant corrupt. Big difference in the GOP.

[–] [email protected] 44 points 2 months ago (2 children)

Wonder if they'll go light on him given how many medals he just won in the Paris Olympics for team USA.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 2 months ago

And for some reason he also got the Medal of Honor at the Paris Olympics.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 2 months ago
  • 23 federal counts
  • 2 year minimum
  • 6 to 8 years

Seems like they are already going light on him.

[–] [email protected] 43 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Prison volleyball team about to get LIT!

[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Shawshank redemption was the book he wrote when was a writer. I wonder if it was a taunt as to what he planned. Or a prediction?

[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 months ago

No need for him to escape when he's got the powers of John Coffey.

[–] [email protected] 27 points 2 months ago (2 children)

Only 23 counts? Lightweight for a Republican.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 2 months ago

He'll never become president at this rate

[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 months ago

They really are sending us their best

[–] [email protected] 25 points 2 months ago (2 children)

"Aggravated identify theft" sounds like he literally ripped someone's face off

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 months ago

No more drugs for that man.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 months ago (1 children)

And I'm the count of having Superman's donated penis, how do you plead?

Santos: guilty your honor!

...and in regards to the wobble on Earth's orbit due to an unforseen force, what is your plea?

Santos: guilty, but that's because I wasn't used to carrying around Superman's super dong. I simply sat down on the toilet as usual and it happened. I'm a NASA scientist and did all the calculations and it's true, your honor, my enormous penis caused the wobble out of orbit.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 2 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 months ago

I concur that dude dropped a memetic hazard into the internet like the fucking chaos insurgency.

[–] [email protected] 22 points 2 months ago

Party of Law and Order…. reenactments.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 2 months ago (1 children)

What is it about Republicans that turns them into criminals? Or do they just attract this kind of behavior?

[–] [email protected] 9 points 2 months ago

Anti-intellectualism leads to people following charismatic, self-confident narcissists (a.k.a. confidence artists).

They don't turn into criminals, they attract.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 2 months ago

Guillotines when

[–] [email protected] 13 points 2 months ago

He finally admitted he’s guilty-ish

[–] [email protected] 12 points 2 months ago (1 children)

He'll take the slap on the wrist and get elected to Congress in the town next door.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 months ago

Pretty sure he's going to get more than just a slap when he walks into Rikers.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 2 months ago

Has he blamed the Deep State yet?

[–] [email protected] 9 points 2 months ago (1 children)

People who commit unemployment fraud are the lowest of the low.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 months ago

It's pretty low, but if someone's legitimately struggling to get by, rather than just greedy, then I have a hard time getting mad about it

[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (1 children)

I dunno why, but I've just had a strong urge to refer to him as Greg from now on. It just feels right.

Way to go Greg. You did a great job fucking up your life.

Edit: apologies to people named Greg.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 months ago (3 children)

I’ve never known a Greg I liked.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 months ago

Greg hacked my RuneScape account.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I know a cat named Greg. Actually he's kind of a dick

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I know a guy named Dick, and he’s actually really nice guy. We have this thing that when we say goodbye, I go something like “Dude, you’re so awesome. I don’t know why your parents named you Dick.” He seems to love it, But maybe he’s just pretending. Dick is awesome.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 months ago

Lol using this, thank you

[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 months ago