this post was submitted on 04 Sep 2024
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[–] [email protected] 106 points 2 months ago (3 children)

There's a bishop 500m away with a sniper too.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 2 months ago (1 children)

and he always visits the scene of the crime after

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 months ago (1 children)

The sniper is loaded with a space warp bullet.
When the bullet lodges into the enemy, being potentially healable (if the enemy bishop were to turn priest), the bishop activates the warp, taking the place of the bullet and ripping out of the enemy's body, making sure the body is unusable and making the priest useless.

And that's why we don't have a priest in chess.

CC BY-NC-SA 4.0

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[–] [email protected] 10 points 2 months ago

A Super Soaker filled with holy water.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (1 children)

That was a balancing patch. It used to be that bishops could only see only 2 squares and could jump over like horses.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 months ago

smdh Chess hasn't had a balance patch in like 200 years.

nerf knights plz chess.com

[–] [email protected] 85 points 2 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 24 points 2 months ago
[–] [email protected] 49 points 2 months ago (11 children)

Fun fact: rooks are elephant, bishops are camels, and queen is vizier in most Indian languages.

[–] [email protected] 21 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (3 children)

Other fun facts in This article, of which my favorite parts are the maps and their titles:

[–] [email protected] 10 points 2 months ago (2 children)

Do the pieces look different or are they just called a different thing? Like what's a 'jumper'?

[–] [email protected] 9 points 2 months ago

They look the same. A "jumper", or "springer" in Danish, is just a differently named "knight".

[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 months ago

The second one is inaccurate for Slovenia at least. Both horse and jumper are in use.

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[–] [email protected] 33 points 2 months ago
[–] [email protected] 25 points 2 months ago (1 children)

That queen's hanging, tho. He can just beat her himself.

[–] [email protected] 25 points 2 months ago (1 children)

There is nothing to indicate she isn't defended.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 months ago

Next frame could be a horse walking up and smashing that tower.

[–] [email protected] 21 points 2 months ago (4 children)

I'd never questioned it before now, but ... How come the towers move? Who had that idea?

The jesters moving diagonally because they're whimsical I guess but the towers are quite odd.

[–] [email protected] 36 points 2 months ago (3 children)

jesters? they're bishops...

[–] [email protected] 15 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Sorry. Did a direct translation of the French name without thinking.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 months ago (2 children)

And in German they're "Runners"

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 months ago

I'll add Spanish! "Alfil", taken from arabic "(al-)fil", taken from persian "pil", meaning "the elephant", since at some point in the past the piece was, evidently, an elephant.

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[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 months ago

Potato potato

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 months ago (1 children)

You may look a bit beyond the edge of the anglophone world.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 months ago

well in my language they're "runners" so i guess i should have thought a bit harder there...

[–] [email protected] 34 points 2 months ago

The rook was initially a chariot.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (1 children)

Okay since nobody did a serious answer, here we go:

tl;dr: its a translation/interpretation error.

The first documented forms of chess are all "war machines" of their time the tower was a Charioteer.

When chess hits Europe someone translated charioteer with tower. Idk why, maybe because the used figures looked like a tower.

And a charioteer move on a battlefield would be a storming through everything in one direction.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I kinda wish we'd kept the name chariot. It sounds more epic.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 months ago
[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 months ago

Towers are made of stone

[–] [email protected] 14 points 2 months ago (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 9 points 2 months ago

But when is the boobs update

[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 months ago

This was magnificent!

[–] [email protected] 13 points 2 months ago

Sacrifice DA QUEEN

[–] [email protected] 10 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (2 children)

/pedantry

It's not checkmate then, now it's it.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 months ago

I See a body check, Mate.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Well, she did only say check.

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[–] [email protected] 10 points 2 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 11 points 2 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 months ago (1 children)

OP really should've provided this source.

For shame. smh...

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Sharing a cropped version too.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 months ago

Seriously.

Rude.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 2 months ago

"Horses can't be knights. I mean, that's just silly. Chess is stupid!"

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 months ago
[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 months ago

Get thee to a rookery

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