this post was submitted on 04 Sep 2024
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[–] [email protected] 105 points 2 weeks ago (3 children)

There's a bishop 500m away with a sniper too.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

and he always visits the scene of the crime after

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

The sniper is loaded with a space warp bullet.
When the bullet lodges into the enemy, being potentially healable (if the enemy bishop were to turn priest), the bishop activates the warp, taking the place of the bullet and ripping out of the enemy's body, making sure the body is unusable and making the priest useless.

And that's why we don't have a priest in chess.

CC BY-NC-SA 4.0

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[–] [email protected] 10 points 2 weeks ago

A Super Soaker filled with holy water.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (1 children)

That was a balancing patch. It used to be that bishops could only see only 2 squares and could jump over like horses.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 weeks ago

smdh Chess hasn't had a balance patch in like 200 years.

nerf knights plz chess.com

[–] [email protected] 85 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 24 points 2 weeks ago
[–] [email protected] 49 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

Fun fact: rooks are elephant, bishops are camels, and queen is vizier in most Indian languages.

[–] [email protected] 21 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (3 children)

Other fun facts in This article, of which my favorite parts are the maps and their titles:

[–] [email protected] 10 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

Do the pieces look different or are they just called a different thing? Like what's a 'jumper'?

[–] [email protected] 9 points 2 weeks ago

They look the same. A "jumper", or "springer" in Danish, is just a differently named "knight".

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[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 weeks ago

The second one is inaccurate for Slovenia at least. Both horse and jumper are in use.

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[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 weeks ago (9 children)

No.. Rooks are chariots Bishops are elephant and Queen is literally queen ml/in

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[–] [email protected] 33 points 2 weeks ago
[–] [email protected] 25 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

That queen's hanging, tho. He can just beat her himself.

[–] [email protected] 25 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

There is nothing to indicate she isn't defended.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 weeks ago

Next frame could be a horse walking up and smashing that tower.

[–] [email protected] 21 points 2 weeks ago (4 children)

I'd never questioned it before now, but ... How come the towers move? Who had that idea?

The jesters moving diagonally because they're whimsical I guess but the towers are quite odd.

[–] [email protected] 36 points 2 weeks ago (3 children)

jesters? they're bishops...

[–] [email protected] 15 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Sorry. Did a direct translation of the French name without thinking.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

And in German they're "Runners"

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 weeks ago

I'll add Spanish! "Alfil", taken from arabic "(al-)fil", taken from persian "pil", meaning "the elephant", since at some point in the past the piece was, evidently, an elephant.

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[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 weeks ago

Potato potato

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

You may look a bit beyond the edge of the anglophone world.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 weeks ago

well in my language they're "runners" so i guess i should have thought a bit harder there...

[–] [email protected] 34 points 2 weeks ago

The rook was initially a chariot.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (1 children)

Okay since nobody did a serious answer, here we go:

tl;dr: its a translation/interpretation error.

The first documented forms of chess are all "war machines" of their time the tower was a Charioteer.

When chess hits Europe someone translated charioteer with tower. Idk why, maybe because the used figures looked like a tower.

And a charioteer move on a battlefield would be a storming through everything in one direction.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

I kinda wish we'd kept the name chariot. It sounds more epic.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 weeks ago
[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 weeks ago

Towers are made of stone

[–] [email protected] 14 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 9 points 2 weeks ago

But when is the boobs update

[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 weeks ago

This was magnificent!

[–] [email protected] 13 points 2 weeks ago

Sacrifice DA QUEEN

[–] [email protected] 10 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 11 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

OP really should've provided this source.

For shame. smh...

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[–] [email protected] 10 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (2 children)

/pedantry

It's not checkmate then, now it's it.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 weeks ago

I See a body check, Mate.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Well, she did only say check.

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[–] [email protected] 9 points 2 weeks ago

"Horses can't be knights. I mean, that's just silly. Chess is stupid!"

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 weeks ago
[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 weeks ago

Get thee to a rookery

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