Steal your vessel? What was he, a pirate? Did he have an eyepatch and a pegleg?
this post was submitted on 04 Sep 2024
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Yarr, he flew the jolly roger, he did.
I guess you drive a car but travel in a vessel.
These people love their magic words. Of course, they never actually work, but it's not going to stop them from continuing to try.
These are the people who click on ads that say “the secret health fix your doctor doesn’t want you to know about”.
Poor boat captain :(
No he clearly means his body! A solid gold copy of his berth certificate signed at 450 degree angle sent to the general of the Duke United Merchant Bank, will quickly banishment this illegal tryannt to twatlight zone and return control of his body
So he wants to use a court of law to sue somebody?
Hope he brings the right coupons!
If someone steals your “vessel”, contact Starfleet immediately. If it has a cloaking device, though, you’re probably fucked.
Cops with their boat trailers, all ready to claim salvage on the USS Oldsrusty, it ain't right, I tell ya.
It's too late for this guy. He didn't declare a fee schedule and jiggle his left foot 8 times at the time the tickets were issued.
Don't be like him. Contact me before any interaction with state tyrants for only $750/hr and I will teach you everything you need to know. You can be reimbursed from your straw man account that is held by the government so there's no need to worry about the costs. Just go to my website where I sell dog bandanas with WWII insignias and click on the "Contact The Real Person" link.
By reading this you agree to the fee schedule posted on my website. Anyone violating this will be held accountable in a court without a gold-fringed flag. I do not recognize the authority of a court that hangs the gold-fringed flag. A flag with gilded edges is the flag of an Admiralty court. An Admiralty court signifies a Naval court-martial. I cannot be court-martialed twice. that is all. Furthermore....
Impressive, but legally I didn't actually read your comment.
By not reading his comment, you have agreed to…ah, fuck it, I’m too tired.
This is a masterpiece.
I wonder if cops can just hand them a card that says "Your made up rules carry no legal authority."
I funny think any of those guys would listen to a straight "You're wrong." Maybe it would be better explaining that they didn't do their incantations quite right. Like "Oh, that license plate can't be accepted because it's black letters on a white background, which puts it in the domain of the department of commerce, who have no jurisdiction in automobile accidents."
I rewired a police station once. Literally the only poster they had up about groups to watch for was about SovCits, exactly how their nonsense "worked", and how to handle them. It was pretty amusing, as an anarchist who wasn't keen on that particular job.
There's a judge that literally wrote the book on how to handle them. I wouldn't be surprised if they got the info from that.
Do you remember any of the tips?
Not specifically, this was... 5 years ago? Something like that. Small rural town. I think I had a picture, but it's long gone.
It boiled down to "their arguments are nonsense designed to confuse you, just ignore what they tell you and ticket them. Be careful with the ones who are into homesteading, they probably have guns."
Probably good advice actually.
Probably not, but they could definitely say it.
This card doesn't matter, because I can't read anything I didn't write myself or download from the guy selling the WWII themed dog bandanas.
Only if I can hand the same card back to the cops.
Works more often than you'd think:
Lisa, I'd like to buy that rock
The store didn't accept my monopoly money so I want to personally sue the cashier.
A psychologist might have helped, if consulted before the delusion had set in that deep...
if they are not us citizens shouldn't they be deported?
See the thing is, they are actually US citizens, even if they want to pretend they're not.
We don't just revoke citizenship because people want to claim they're not citizens. The US, like nearly all countries, does not revoke citizenship unless the person has another citizenship, they don't intentionally make anyone Stateless as a matter of regular policy.
That's not entirely true, there is however a fairly specific set of actions you need to do to renounce your citizenship. If you remember the drama around Isis women wanting to return to their countries of origin the legal question a lot of times was whether they had effectively renounced citizenship, not that they had joined a state that America and such didn't recognize as existing.
The answer was mostly no, btw, they hadn't actually renounced American citizenship in the way required, not that actual Constitutional definitions or legality matter to the state when it considers you an enemy, which is something these chuckleheads never really seem to understand.
Who the fuck insured this idiot? oh right, fucking no one.
There are ways to do this shit properly but you never hear about it because it's not as funny.
Spending your life leaning into fictional ragebait. Do better things people. Do literally anything else.
It would be even funnier if they weren't at fault, but still ended up getting their vehicle towed.
I don't think they're getting that car back.
The vehicle tow wasn't because of being at fault/not at fault; it was due to no valid registration/license (can't drive it away without those [in the real world]).
You can absolutely sue, but it will be for imaginary money in a pretend court too just like your fake laws.
I brought in a legal consultant, my friend, the king of the cake-eating owl monkey people. The king is not optimistic about this Sovcit’s chances.