Give him one of these useful knife blocks:
this post was submitted on 14 Oct 2024
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Too soon.
Oh, I might have to get one of these.
That's the Asterix version of Caesar, specifically. Wonder if it's an official product, or fan made?
I found it here:
http://craziestgadgets.com/2013/03/22/julius-caesar-knife-block-beware-the-knives-of-march/
But it seems it was based on a sculpture which was sold on Amazon (and is currently out of stock):
https://amzn.eu/d/cUAPjYx
Who nose?
Me with a time machine:
The natives knew that.
But there was basically nothing they could do. The pox depopulated the continent so fast that the white colonists often encountered only remnants of destroyed civilizations wherever they arrived.
Imagine the Europeans met a significantly further developed native civilisation .. Like steam engine level. That would have been interesting.
The Europeans didn't have the man power to defeat the Aztec Empire that fast but as an empire, the Aztecs made enemies and all these enemies united with the Europeans to defeat their common enemy, not knowing what would come next. Similar stories in north America with some first nations allying with the Europeans against their old enemies.
Years of Rice and Salt by Kim Stanley Robinson. Minus the Europeans, mind.
C’mon! That should be an Orange Julius!
Had one for the first time since I was like... 14? I'm 41. Drank it down. Started great. I've never felt so sick after something. Apparently I'm too old for this. I miss being a kid.
Or at least a Caesar salad
I'd give the people of hispaniola a few modern guns and ammunition around 1491 as well as a description of christopher columbus, his ships, and weaponry with full detail of what will happen if a single spaniard escapes.
Fun fact, part of the reason no other expedition to the new world had been successful before was because the few that showed up were likely slaughtered before they could escape. The mainland was pretty hostile to newcomers.
It's also possible they felt this way because it was the Vikings who kept showing up.
I like your thinking
I mean that sounds great and all but what are the chances some other explorers find it and the same shit goes down basically the same way?
High but it gives them a much better shot
God dam!... I like you.
Render unto Caesar the Fanta that is Caesar’s.
"Hey Jules, you should get an MRI. Those seizures might be a tumor. It could kill you."
Better hope he doesn't ask where Fanta comes from
Fanta originated in Germany as a Coca-Cola alternative in 1941 due to the American trade embargo of Nazi Germany
What's Germany? What's America? What's Coca-Cola? What's an embargo? What's Naziism?
What’s Germany?
Well, that one he knows at least! He fought with the Germanic tribes, who he notes came from a land called Germania.
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Oh I’d just serve him a beverage consisting of vodka, tomato juice, clam juice, and hot sauce. After explaining the three ingredients he has no access to I’d tell him the name of the beverage before saying that he’ll kinda have it coming
Don't forget the celery that won't exist for 1700 years.
Wait what‽ Also didn’t know celery was in it. I’ve never actually had one of them, though I’d love to try, especially with something like a Parmesan vodka.
It's usually got a celery stick in it.
It's basically a bloody Mary, you'll either like them both or hate them both.
Ok yeah but how is celery that young
Like most of the plants we eat today, 2000 years ago celery kinda just looked like a weed. In this case, parsley, which is what it's named after. It was used medicinally in certain areas but it was never cultivated in any wide scale.
Then in France they decided it smelled really good and would be good in food. And because it was a bitch to grow the royalty took a liking to it. And after a few generations of selective breeding modern celery was born.
Personally, I'd love to learn enough of the latin he spoke to be able to present him with a bottle of Cesar salad dressing and then tell him how many millions of people think of it when they hear his name.
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Turns out he’s allergic to oranges dies you take his place to preserve the time line but forgot he gets stabbed 23 times the next day.
oranges? in fanta?
unless you mean he's allergic to the colour orange
Get your hands on some german Fanta. It's the ~~good~~ slightly less shitty stuff.
The color difference alone says it all:
gross, fanta is supposed to be orange, not yellow. Who thought making a drink taste like a plant was a good idea, drinks are supposed to taste like chemicals and colors.
The one on the right looks similar to Orangina (available in the US).
i'm European too, i don't think it having probably 10%? of actual orange juice makes it much better tbh
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