this post was submitted on 26 Oct 2024
594 points (97.6% liked)

Science Memes

11453 readers
610 users here now

Welcome to c/science_memes @ Mander.xyz!

A place for majestic STEMLORD peacocking, as well as memes about the realities of working in a lab.



Rules

  1. Don't throw mud. Behave like an intellectual and remember the human.
  2. Keep it rooted (on topic).
  3. No spam.
  4. Infographics welcome, get schooled.

This is a science community. We use the Dawkins definition of meme.



Research Committee

Other Mander Communities

Science and Research

Biology and Life Sciences

Physical Sciences

Humanities and Social Sciences

Practical and Applied Sciences

Memes

Miscellaneous

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
 
top 30 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] [email protected] 62 points 2 months ago (2 children)

The erection won't do you much good as you try to avoid going into respiratory arrest:

Symptoms may appear within 10 to 20 minutes after the bite, and death within two to six hours, where severe pain radiates to the rest of the limb, systemic effects include tachycardia, increased blood pressure, vertigo, fever, sweating, visual disturbances, nausea, vomiting, difficulty breathing and paralysis.

[–] Dyskolos 25 points 2 months ago (2 children)

... But... Also the erection, yes? πŸ€”

[–] [email protected] 15 points 2 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

Does this applies to 70 yo? Otherwise we don’t have a deal. Asking for a friend.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Fully erect, like hard in the tip

You’ll feel like a kid again

[–] Dyskolos 1 points 2 months ago

So, i see no downside here 😁

[–] [email protected] 17 points 2 months ago (1 children)

The good news is you get a four hour erection.
The bad news is that you die within two hours.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 months ago

Hey! Necrophiliacs need love, too!

[–] [email protected] 48 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Alternative wording is gives you an erection for the rest of your life.

[–] jimitsoni18 10 points 2 months ago

And even a few hours after that!

[–] [email protected] 33 points 2 months ago (1 children)

So, uh, is the spider hotter in person? Because the picture isn't doing it for me.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 months ago (1 children)

nope.

and it was a challengin fap indeed

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 months ago

I lasted 4 hours trying to cum

[–] [email protected] 22 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (3 children)

FWIW, even if it only caused a four hour long erection, that is not what your partner is going to want.

Trust me on this.

After an hour--usually less than half an hour, IME--it's not going to matter how much lube you have, they're going to be hurting. You'll be frustrated, they'll be frustrated and in pain, and no one is going to be happy. Maybe there are a very, very few women that like getting pounded for over an hour straight, but I haven't dated one yet.

[–] [email protected] 27 points 2 months ago

Maybe there are a very, very few women that like getting pounded for over an hour straight, but I haven’t dated one yet.

I have. She loved going for marathon sex sessions.

Just not with me.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 months ago

In a move I'm going to regret forever, I'll admit to the internet that I love being cuddle-fucked for literally as long as I can get it. (There's a catch- has to be my boyfriend.)

More than an hour and about 15 minutes and we'll probably need some lube, though.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 months ago

After more than half an hour I just get bored.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 2 months ago

and then you die.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Priapism isnt something you want. Eventually the blood will clot in your penis and no new blood can flow in, causing the cells in your penis to die from lack of oxygenated blood eventually leading to amputation. Better make those 4 hours count

[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 months ago

Brazilian doctor: I'm sorry Sr. Joaquim. You only have 1 day left to live

Sr. Joaquim: grabs boots and very big knife

[–] [email protected] 11 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Doesn't it lead to erectile dysfunction for several months after being bitten? I mean on top of the pain and non usable erection? I guess I don't want to try, thanks.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 2 months ago (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 24 points 2 months ago (2 children)

That's a kind of erectile dysfunction.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 2 months ago

Death usually lasts longer than a few months, though...

[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 months ago

Depends on when rigor mortis sets in ...

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 months ago

There have been deaths, but the bite is survivable. Still extremely unpleasant

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 months ago

Yeah.
As a fellow baldish person I like to think I just have very vivid dreams.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 months ago

You don't want that spider bite: https://youtu.be/JN0VtHez9xI (12:35 SmarterEveryDay video)