this post was submitted on 10 Nov 2024
104 points (94.8% liked)

Ask Me Anything

2017 readers
88 users here now

Ask Me Anything (AMA) Community Rules and Guidelines

This is the lemmy.ca AmA.

Welcome to the Ask Me Anything (AMA) community! This is a space where individuals from various backgrounds come together to engage in open and informative discussions. To ensure a respectful, enjoyable, and inclusive experience for everyone involved, we have established the following rules and guidelines:

  1. Be Civil and Respectful:

    • Treat all participants with respect, regardless of their background, expertise, or opinions. Personal attacks, insults, or derogatory language will not be tolerated.
    • Engage in constructive conversations, even if you disagree with the person answering the questions. Focus on addressing their responses or providing alternative viewpoints without resorting to hostility.
    • Remember that the participants are sharing their knowledge and experiences voluntarily. Appreciate their time and effort.
  2. Practice Politeness and Courtesy:

    • Use polite and considerate language when asking questions or engaging in discussions.
    • Be patient and understanding if the person answering takes time to respond. They may receive a high volume of questions.
    • Avoid spamming or repeating the same question multiple times. Give others a chance to ask their questions as well.

-Use NSFW and trigger warning TW in brackets if you talk about sensitive subject.

  1. Respect Boundaries and Privacy:

    • Do not ask personal or invasive questions unless the participant explicitly invites such queries.
    • If a participant declines to answer a question or requests to move on from a topic, respect their boundaries without pressuring them for a response.
    • Avoid sharing personal information or disclosing sensitive details about yourself or others.
  2. Be Inclusive and Stand Against Discrimination:

    • Respect diverse perspectives and backgrounds. Discrimination, including racism, homophobia, and transphobia, will not be tolerated.
    • Foster an environment that welcomes individuals of all races, genders, sexual orientations, religions, and identities.
    • Be mindful of your language and the potential impact it may have on others. Avoid offensive slurs or derogatory terms.
  3. Avoid Spam and Irrelevant Questions:

    • Ensure your questions are relevant to the participant's expertise or field of knowledge.
    • Avoid posting low-quality or repetitive questions that add little value to the discussion.
    • Respect the purpose of the AMA and avoid using it solely for self-promotion or advertising.
  4. Engage in Meaningful Discussions:

    • Prioritize thought-provoking and insightful questions that foster engaging conversations.
    • Be open to different perspectives and use the AMA as an opportunity to learn and broaden your understanding.
    • Jokes are allowed as long as they are respectful, appropriate, and do not target or marginalize specific individuals or groups. -If you are sarcastic, we recommend to use /s to be sure there is no confusion about your intention. Fake sarcasm will be found.

Remember, these rules and guidelines are in place to ensure a positive and informative environment for all participants. Failure to comply may result in 3 strikes warnings, temporary restrictions, or permanent bans at the discretion of the moderators.

in the future, a mod check and balance system might be implemented . Subject to change : [You might appeal your ban by contacting a special appointed moderator to judge if the ban was abusive.

Special appointed mod can create jury like conversation with randomly chosen users with jury votes to decide if bans are legit or not.]

Thank you for being a part of the Ask Me Anything (AMA) community. Let's engage in enlightening discussions, share knowledge, and create an inclusive space that values respect and diversity!

Friendly communities :

founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
 

I'm Kazakh and this happened in Kazakhstan.

top 28 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] [email protected] 20 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

I can't even begin to understand how you must have felt and feel now.

I've got lots of questions

(1) How did you free yourself/get freed?

(2) Why did he want you?

(3) How did you manage to stay strong?

I have even more questions, but these are the first three that popped into my mind

[–] [email protected] 28 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)
  1. He let me go, blindfolded me and dropped me off on the city outskirts. Then I asked someone for help. He said he got everything he wanted out of the experience. Basically got bored. 2. I answered in another reply, but he wanted to own another person, like a pet. 3. I accepted it. Then I even became attached to him. As long as I was good he was good to me too.
[–] [email protected] 13 points 2 weeks ago

most people are familiar with "fight or flight" Acute Stress Responses, but when one neither fighting nor fleeing are viable options, there are other modalities that kick in for the sake of one's survival.

Namely, Freeze and Fawn: get small, be non-threatening, attempt to appease the assailant.

You did what you had to in order to get through that, and while nonetheless horrific and brutal, the fact that you came out of this alive is a testament to your resiliency. I wish you could get justice... hell I wish you could get vengeance. But I'm just glad you're still here at all.

[–] [email protected] 20 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 23 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 13 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 27 points 2 weeks ago

I have no idea. Tried reporting it but nothing came out of it, and I also didn't have enough identifying info for them. Plus Kazakhstan is a corrupt country, back then even more so.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

What did they want with you?

[–] [email protected] 31 points 2 weeks ago

The man who kidnapped me had a desire to posses another person - like a pet. Someone who has no choice but to do, be where he wants them to. Always there. Think God complex and control freak.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Did you ever attempt to escape, if so how did it go?

[–] [email protected] 18 points 2 weeks ago

I did once in the beginning. Tried to run through the basement door when he left it open and wasn’t paying attention. Obviously didn’t make it. He caned my soles & belted my back and bottom as punishment. I also found out that he left the door open on purpose cause he knew I’s try to run eventually, and wanted to get this lesson with over as soon as possible and needed a reason. So he set me up on purpose. Said he’d hammer my knees if I ever did that again. To say the least I never tried again.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Age 13-20? How much has this affected your growth and upbringing?

Do you find it affected your morality and beliefs.

OK in my mind this is a bunker where youre isolated. What was the social dynamic like?

[–] [email protected] 16 points 2 weeks ago

Yes. This man actually took care of me & treated me well as long as I didn't put up any resistance. He taught me math, English, Kazakh, science, etc. school stuff almost daily. Fed me well, got me nice clothes. Brought me books, games, toys and stuff. I had a TV with a gaming console and DVD player, a CD player for music, a PC (with no Internet)… so I don't feel like I've been dumbed down. But I lost a lot social skills wise. He was the only person I interacted with. And to this day I'm a bit of a yes-man. It wasn't a bunker. It was a renovated basement at first. After he believed I wouldn't try anything, he let me around the house and outdoors to do housework and play.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

What was your support like after the event? Do you feel you have recovered?

[–] [email protected] 15 points 2 weeks ago

My family and friends were amazing, yes, I do. In most aspects.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

How did the abduction occurred?

[–] [email protected] 18 points 2 weeks ago

I was coming back from school and he approached and said he'd buy me whatever I wanted if I joined him shopping 'cause he's lonely. He looked like a presentable, nice man, and I was also young and naive, but I said alright. Then in the car he drove for a bit and blindfolded, tied my hands and feet and gagged me and threw me in the trunk.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

What was the reunification with your family like?

Hoe haar it affected your development? (Physiologically, sexually, socially)

[–] [email protected] 22 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

My family completely thought I was dead. They made a promise to themselves that if they didn't find me in 10 years, they'd hold a religious ceremony to bury me in absentia and officially consider me dead so that the family could move on. It was a huge shock and very emotional. Made me quite socially awkward, a yes-man and sexually repressed - this man didn't allow me to masturbate or anything sexual like that at all and there were cameras all over so I was on constant watch; he wanted to keep me "pure and innocent". Thinking about it now I'm probably more childish than people my own age due to it.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 2 weeks ago

Wow that's wild. I hope you get support from your family and professional help when you need it.

But also, there's lots to discover. I wish you all the best.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 weeks ago

I can't even begin to imagine what this must have been like.. I'm wondering about several things:

  1. What kind of reaction was there to your dissapearance? Have you ever looked up any archives to find out what happened in the days after you dissapeared?

  2. What is your life like now?

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 weeks ago

Not that people lie on the internet for attention, but any proof of this?

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)
  1. Were you ever physically or sexually abused by him?
  2. Did you ever try to contact for help through a telephone or other means? How did that go?
  3. Did anyone ever visit him while you were held captive?
[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 weeks ago

You said he let you go, so he's around somewhere. Have you thought about what you would do, if you ever accidentally met your kidnapper?

I wish you all the best in your life!

[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 weeks ago

What was it like when you contacted your family again?