this post was submitted on 13 Nov 2024
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Microblog Memes

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[–] [email protected] 89 points 6 days ago (3 children)

You don't even have to do much work. A naked body in a ditch in the middle of rocky desert terrain will get picked clean by animals (vultures, coyotes, etc) quickly. A naked body in gator infested swamps...well, enough said. A naked body in a cheap, metal, weighed down dog kennel and dropped at sea will get picked clean in no time and the kennel will corrode a d disintegrate soon after. The hard part is always moving the body unnoticed.

[–] [email protected] 53 points 6 days ago (1 children)

I was fine with you knowing this information until "The hard part is always moving the body unnoticed." Always? As in every single time?

[–] [email protected] 39 points 6 days ago

Never had a kill where it wasn't an issue!

[–] [email protected] 31 points 6 days ago (2 children)

As always, I am disturbed by the breadth of knowledge of other people, and simultaneously elated that people know things and share them.

[–] [email protected] 32 points 6 days ago

You're always gonna have problems lifting a body in one piece. Apparently the best thing to do is cut up a corpse into six pieces and pile it all together.

And when you got your six pieces, you gotta get rid of them, because it's no good leaving it in the deep freeze for your mum to discover, now is it? Then I hear the best thing to do is feed them to pigs. You got to starve the pigs for a few days, then the sight of a chopped-up body will look like curry to a pisshead. You gotta shave the heads of your victims, and pull the teeth out for the sake of the piggies' digestion. You could do this afterwards, of course, but you don't want to go sievin' through pig shit, now do you? They will go through bone like butter. You need at least sixteen pigs to finish the job in one sitting, so be wary of any man who keeps a pig farm. They will go through a body that weighs 200 pounds in about eight minutes. That means that a single pig can consume two pounds of uncooked flesh every minute. Hence the expression, "as greedy as a pig".

[–] [email protected] 8 points 6 days ago

Isn't that a quote from Snatch?

[–] [email protected] 11 points 6 days ago

Free fertilizer for a happy little tree.

[–] [email protected] 54 points 6 days ago* (last edited 6 days ago) (4 children)

You're always gonna have problems lifting a body in one piece. Apparently the best thing to do is cut up a corpse into six pieces and pile it all together. And when you got your six pieces, you gotta get rid of them, because it's no good leaving it in the deep freeze for your mum to discover, now is it?

Then I hear the best thing to do is feed them to pigs. You got to starve the pigs for a few days, then the sight of a chopped-up body will look like curry to a pisshead. You gotta shave the heads of your victims, and pull the teeth out for the sake of the piggies' digestion. You could do this afterwards, of course, but you don't want to go sievin' through pig shit, now do you?

They will go through bone like butter. You need at least sixteen pigs to finish the job in one sitting, so be wary of any man who keeps a pig farm. They will go through a body that weighs 200 pounds in about eight minutes. That means that a single pig can consume two pounds of uncooked flesh every minute. Hence the expression, "as greedy as a pig".

[–] [email protected] 12 points 6 days ago* (last edited 6 days ago) (2 children)

maybe most bones but all that is needed to raise suspicion is one uneaten human bone in your pig pen - case of a woman who fed at least one person to her pigs

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[–] dch82 6 points 6 days ago
[–] [email protected] 4 points 5 days ago

FBI, right this way

[–] [email protected] 62 points 6 days ago* (last edited 6 days ago) (5 children)

Lye is much more effective with a little heat.

In unrelated random thoughts, NurdRage and Nile Red are some of my favorite YT'bers

Muriatic is like a pseudonym for hydrochloric. If you see liquid drain cleaner bottled in a second plastic bag on the shelf of a local hardware store, that is probably sulfuric acid and is much stronger than most other stuff. That's useful for lots of things like a few steps away from dissolving gold or epoxy. The combo or bulk may raise some eyebrows. I like to dissolve epoxy chip packaging to view the silicon die and etch the metal layers off... for example.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 6 days ago (1 children)

add a little peroxide and you're really cooking

[–] [email protected] 20 points 6 days ago (1 children)

Add some potatoes and you got yourself a stew!

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[–] [email protected] 8 points 5 days ago (1 children)

Drain cleaner is NaOH (lye).

Sulfuric is sold as battery acid for refilling lead acid batteries.

Muriatic is HCl sold as concrete cleaner.

Nitric is hard to buy, but there are some guides on making it.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 5 days ago (1 children)

Label is very faded but just one example:

I've never seen it in a big box store, but small mom and pops type hardware stores here in California have had it around. It seems to be part of a small distribution network and comes from Mexico.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago)

Nuts. Never seen H2SO4 used for drains. They don't call it "oil of vitriol" for nothing. You can actually test a distillation of pure sulfuric because a drop will burn through a paper towel in seconds.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 6 days ago

Just gonna leave this here for my lady friends.

tl;dr: LDPE or HDPE for most acids.

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[–] [email protected] 24 points 5 days ago (2 children)

You just have to make friends with a pig farmer who has very gray morals

[–] [email protected] 10 points 5 days ago (1 children)

Chef's and butchers too. We know know how to take a body apart and clean up blood.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 5 days ago (1 children)

Wanna be friends? I know a man who has some pigs he'll let people borrow, but I don't know any chefs or butchers.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 5 days ago (3 children)

Absolutely. The way things are looking, we're going to need all the friends we can get.

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[–] [email protected] 4 points 5 days ago (5 children)

Soap maker too. I've actually gotten into the hobby of making soap not too long ago.

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[–] [email protected] 30 points 6 days ago (1 children)

I don’t even think that phrase should even be spoken about, even in memes making fun of it. Let it fade into the black like Nick F and his sludge.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 6 days ago* (last edited 6 days ago)

I don't think censorship has ever worked. We should make a deal about it, expose the Nazis, and knee them in the nuts.

[–] [email protected] 28 points 6 days ago (3 children)

You don't need a body to find someone guilty of murder.

[–] [email protected] 59 points 6 days ago (1 children)

While true, it's kinda tangential here, no?

If you suddenly disappear with no markers of violent crime, it's unlikely they're going to jump to charging someone with murder on the grounds of "you were once extremely insensitive and rude to her".

[–] [email protected] 10 points 6 days ago

I kind of feel like maybe they will do that pretty soon.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 6 days ago (2 children)

Sure but if you're in the US it's basically 50/50 you'll be caught.

[–] [email protected] 41 points 6 days ago (2 children)

You can thank Dick Wolf for the copaganda that murders and violent crimes get solved, but the reality is most don't. It's just uncomfortable to consider how ineffectual the police are given they consume huge portions of local and state budgets.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago) (1 children)

When my friend was murdered(his dad attacked him, he fought back, and his dad shot him.) The cops knew his dad was a violent alcoholic, and that his son was trying to move out.

Except the dad was the only witness, and despite many people's statements about abuse and alcoholism in the household it was declared self defense due to "lack of evidence." He's free to walk around continuing to drink himself to death. Piece of shit.

My point is sometimes they don't even solve it correctly when the killer is standing right there.

The legal system is a fucking joke.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 5 days ago (1 children)
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[–] [email protected] 10 points 6 days ago

Oh absolutely, in my city (in Canada) we have the highest paid and least effective cops in the country. Our cops will gear up like they're in Afghanistan to arrest old grandmas in Fairy Creek but call them about an assault and see if you get someone that night.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 6 days ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 12 points 6 days ago

Oh for overall crimes, absolutely, I was referring to just murder (https://www.themarshallproject.org/2022/01/12/as-murders-spiked-police-solved-about-half-in-2020), but also keep in mind 'solved' means 'we convicted someone' which, you know...

[–] [email protected] 6 points 6 days ago

Whether or not she gets away with it is small comfort to the dismembered corpse.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 6 days ago (3 children)

I just bothered to look up "truecrime" for the first time. But I'm still confused. What's the difference between "truecrime" and just "crime documentary"?

[–] [email protected] 25 points 6 days ago (3 children)

True crime is not far off from crime documentary. If anything I could see people arguing they're the same and it would really just come down to semantics.

To me, a " crime documentary" is a show or episode covering a specific crime or suspect. A True Crime podcast (or show, vlog, etc.) tends to cover a new crime or suspect each episode.

If anything, I would argue True Crime shows are a series of mini-documentaries so-to-speak.

Another thing to consider would be production value. When I hear "Documentary" I think of something I would see on TV or a streaming service. In other words I think of something backed by money.

When I hear "True Crime" I think of podcasts or vloggers. Typically a person or small group of people doing their own research and producing their own content.

A True crime podcast I'd recommend would be Small Town Murder. My wife will listen to it as we're doing chores around the house and I would catch myself paying attention from time to time.

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[–] [email protected] 5 points 6 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago)

True crime means what it says. It's crime that happened as opposed to fictional crime. In this context it usually means things like podcasts about true crime. It's only different in that it's a larger umbrella than just documentaries.

Edit: Fix contradictory typo

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[–] [email protected] 14 points 6 days ago (3 children)

Are there really people who unironically say that? How is it possible to attain this enlightenment level delusion? It's like Buddhism, but for morons.

[–] [email protected] 24 points 6 days ago (1 children)

It's been very common since the election. Young girls at school are being harassed by boys who say that to them.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago) (2 children)

I wonder how that will impact those girls as they get older and start entering politics. Will it push them further left? Will they feel disparaged sooner and give up on politics sooner?

And same for the boys. By saying such dumb things so publicly at such a young age, will they face repercussions from their peers and get inoculated against manoshere-type-misogyny? Or will those beliefs become more ingrained in them and become a core piece of their identity?

[–] [email protected] 3 points 5 days ago

And same for the boys. By saying such dumb things so publicly at such a young age, will they face repercussions from their peers and get inoculated against manoshere-type-misogyny? Or will those beliefs become more ingrained in them and become a core piece of their identity?

Honestly, it will probably do little or nothing. A lot of adolescent boys make a habit of saying whatever they think is shocking and will get a reaction, and kids that age in general try ideas on like they're changing clothes. It's just generally not going to "stick" in the way you think. Once the next shocking thing comes along they'll drop it and probably never think of it again until it's 2040 and they think back about what idiots they were as kids.

Although in the era of social media, they may never get the chance to do so.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 5 days ago
[–] [email protected] 12 points 6 days ago

yes. I'm not sure how unironically it's meant but it doesn't matter when you have a group of boys yelling "hawk tuah" and "your body, my choice" at a 12 year old girl. I've got boys so they have been insulated but my best friend has girls and he's getting unbelievably pissed off.

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[–] [email protected] 6 points 5 days ago

Women terrify me. It's not a modern thing either. I was cuddling with my grandmother while she was watching Murder She Wrote and Matlock decades ago. Could probably have disappeared my grandfather in a heartbeat if she finally had enough of his bullshit.

[–] rumba 5 points 5 days ago

In support I say we should make a national registry of 6 ft deep holes with no logs and the ability just to remove one of the holes with a click. We don't know how they get there, we don't know how they go away...

[–] [email protected] 2 points 4 days ago

Would these hypothetical women be offended when the lazy detective ignores all the hoops they went through to conceal their involvement and declares it a suicide?

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