this post was submitted on 29 Sep 2023
310 points (88.4% liked)

Memes

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[–] [email protected] 67 points 1 year ago (1 children)

That's why I carry a pocket knife. I don't stab people, but I have it in case someone else would like to.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago

We need more upstanding citizens like you in this world.

It's so embarrassing if you threaten someone at knife point, did the whole "your wallet or your life" spiel and then figure out that you actually don't have your knife with you.

[–] [email protected] 61 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Gotta help your friends get their long awaited lung cancer

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Anything to make healthcare cheaper

[–] [email protected] 20 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Smoking causes slow, lifelong issues that will actually lead them to be in and out of the hospital regularly before they die unfortunately...

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago (1 children)

If they get Stage 4 cancer then they wouldn’t be in the hospital for long

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Well you don't get stage four cancer, it's not like you can develop "Ultra Instinct Cancer" or anything. You just let it go unnoticed and then when you find it it's at S4.

[–] [email protected] -2 points 1 year ago

That’s what we need to hope for, which tends to happen since most people don’t like to go to the doctor to hear only “bad news.”

[–] [email protected] 35 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I don't smoke, I just like melting things

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (2 children)

Lit 💯 🔥🔥🔥

PS: You can own the sun, btw. Just go somewhere where someone sells ownership for stars, and buy the sun then :)

[–] [email protected] 15 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Best summary of NFTs I've seen

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago

Summary of the concept of ownership in general tbh

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago (1 children)

New sci-fi story idea: a galactic war is fought over one of those fake deeds

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago

It's a plot point in the Three Body Problem series :)

[–] [email protected] 19 points 1 year ago

So a coworker at one point was selling this interesting odds and ends offered me a knife with a lighter on the other side. I did need a knife to open things but I had no real use for a lighter as I don't smoke but I of course bought it anyway because it was cool. Had this little dial to adjust the size of the flame... Fast forward to later that night bending over with a 6 inch flame coming out of my pocket from the end sticking out.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 year ago

Nah, screw that. I want no part in someones' ill health and probably littering habits too

[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

I don't smoke and don't carry matches or a lighter but have long hair (male) and regularly get asked for a sig and I say I don't smoke and I get this mean bullshit eye from these strangers.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 year ago

I did this when I was single.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago

Also it's pretty useful as a bottle opener if there isn't a corner or another bottle around.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I'm only having one for my intrusive thoughts.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago

Click click click click

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago

Me pulping a radio dj's head in New Mexico in the '50s so I can read a creepy poem on the mic

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago
[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago

You are just eliminating the concurrence