Guys, gals, and non-binary pals.
this post was submitted on 15 Oct 2023
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Bastards, bitches and assholes.
Penn Jillette has some shit takes at times, but I feel like he landed on a good one when he was workshopping an inclusive greeting on his podcast:
"Welcome brothers, sisters and siblings to...."
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Fuck yeah, Kenji! (He's the one that popularized the phrase afaik, apologies if not)
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Oh this is pretty good... I'm stealing this.
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Oi cunts! Seems to fit everyone...
Fails hard if you can't do an australian accent and you're speaking to an audience of women though
Thats when ya go with "Sup Bitches"
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The south, interestingly enough, always got it right: “Y'all."
That's the singular. The plural is All y'all
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Sup fuckers and non-fuckers (ace inclusion is important)
Ladies, Gentlmen, and other androgynous creatures (odo)
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"Sup dudes" is what I use. easier.
edit: if there's any confusion, always defer to the philosophy of Ed from Good Burger.
"I'm a dude. He's a dude. She's a dude. Cause we're all dudes! (hey!)"
Dudes, guys, and boiiii are gender neutral terms and that's a hill I'll die on
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My manager says "hello kittys", that one is excellent because it weirds everyone out. Especially in a button-down corporate environment.
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"What up, dipshits?"
Bitches, bros, and nonbinary hoes
For what it’s worth, I don’t think “girls, gays, and theys” was ever meant to be inclusive of everyone. It’d be more like replacing “the boys” in “I was just out with the boys”.
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Greetings, citizens of earth
"Greetings, programs!"
pov I'm watching the ceo explain how "restructuring" 100 people out of their jobs is not layoffs because we're actually doing great financially
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Alrighty campers
Esteemed comerades...
No brownie points for guessing my preference here. Flawless, indeed.
What about brony points?
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I learned one from a Tom Lehrer concert decades ago (I wasn't there -- it was a recording)
"As Malcolm X was fond of saying 'Good evening to my friends and enemies. I say that because I can't believe everyone here is my friend, and I don't want to exclude anyone'"
I like the moderately-formal one from Dragonball Z Abridged: Ladies, Gentlemen, and the Technicolor Rainbow In Between!
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I find "hello, fellow kids" is what keeps me in with the hep crowd.
Im a fan of "Team" in a business setting.
If by fan you mean "my innards shrivel in disgust", then that makes two of us
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"Alright you 'orrible lot!" has been my go-to. But I'm partial to "Hey Nooblets!"
I like "ladies, boys, and ladyboys" myself, but I value comedy over being inoffensive.
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