this post was submitted on 20 Oct 2023
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United States | News & Politics

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Round 1: 200 votes for Jordan

Round 2: 199 votes for Jordan

Round 3: 194 votes for Jordan

Additional detractors this round:

Brian Fitzpatrick (R-PA): Jordan round 2, McHenry round 3

Tom Kean Jr. (R-NY): Jordan round 2, McCarthy round 3

Marc Molinaro (R-NY): Jordan round 2, Zeldin round 3

Other GOP changes:

Wesley Hunt (R-TX): Jordan round 2, absent round 3

Derrick Van Orden (R-WI): Jordan round 2, absent round 3

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[–] [email protected] 129 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Aside from the content, I want to take a moment to appreciate how this has such an informative title!:-)

[–] [email protected] 33 points 1 year ago (1 children)

No doubt. Succinct and accurate with little flair.

[–] [email protected] 24 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (3 children)

Here, I'll fix it:

Oh no! Jim Jordan loses the Speaker vote for a third time! You won't believe how many hold outs there were!

Followed by 10 paragraphs of SEO ridden, AI generated drivel that buries the answer to the point you give up on finding it

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago

Sums up internet articles in 2023, 95% of which could be less than a paragraph, but need to fluff it up to 6 pages to inlay some ads and get those juicy organic clicks

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[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 year ago (2 children)

How will I know how to react if no one gets slammed?

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago

Or destroyed? I like my mundane news ratcheted up to hyperbolic levels.

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[–] [email protected] 78 points 1 year ago (4 children)

The idea of Jordan being speaker was one of the stupidest and most offensive ideas they’ve come up with recently, so it’s nice that it isn’t working out.

[–] [email protected] 30 points 1 year ago (3 children)

Lauren Bobert handing beer to colleague Hold this a min.

[–] [email protected] 21 points 1 year ago

It's not a beer she has in her hands.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Netflix should buy out the comedy rights for that special. Then people would actually want to pay extra for Netflix.

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[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago

The idea of Jordan being speaker was one of the stupidest and most offensive ideas they’ve come up with recently

And that is an incredibly high bar.

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[–] [email protected] 68 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I read somewhere that a group of 55 republicans who plan to make sure he gets less votes every round. To rub in how much they don’t want him.

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[–] [email protected] 52 points 1 year ago (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 25 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Are you making fun of the size of my automobile?

[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 year ago (1 children)

No, I’m making fun of the size of your voting block.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Lol, I'm fuckin Canadian, I live in the UK, I'm not a republican drone. I was riffing off the Simpsons reference...fuck me I guess.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Also riffing and having fun here. I’m joking about the chaos, not trying to attack you.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 year ago

Well shit. And here I was, drunk on a train being all fragile. Touché you saucy removed!

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 year ago

I got that reference. Well done

[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

Everyone needs a speaker. This is the best speaker that I could nominate. Should he therefore be made the subject of fun?

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago
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[–] [email protected] 27 points 1 year ago (1 children)

They're doing it on purpose. There was a report a few days ago that outlined a plan to do exactly this. It will continue to get worse for him.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 year ago (3 children)

What I don't get is if we know about this plan, surely gymbo must know as well. So why not just call it quits? Does he like to be humiliated? Is this some sort of fetish for him?

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 year ago (1 children)

The goal of to whip, convince, strong arm into submission.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago

Thus the Disgruntled Henchmen call-center calls to the “nay” voters.

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[–] [email protected] 24 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Somehow this is until fault of democrats, surely. /s

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago

It's because they won't vote for him, obv.

[–] [email protected] 19 points 1 year ago (3 children)

Those numbers are going in the wrong direction, guy. I think you should bow out. But I hope you’re dumb enough to keep going.

Repubs are the greatest impediment to progress. Dems are the second greatest.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 year ago

Then again, maybe if he keeps going he will unite everyone behind the banner of "Not Gym Jordan," which is a great service he's able to provide us.

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[–] [email protected] 16 points 1 year ago

Gym Jordan feels like what everyone wished Ted Cruz could feel.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 year ago (2 children)

If this was 'House of Cards'

Dems would offer Blue state GOPs who voted for Jeffries easy wins in November. The ten or so voted he'd need would be offset by loses in other states.

[–] Cethin 8 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I don't know if that's a good idea honestly. First, they'd be giving up winnable seats in the future. Second, it'd be Democrats in charge of a republican controlled house. Sure, they could put up things they want for a vote, but stupid people would now think they're responsible for the nothing that gets done. Letting Republicans tear each other apart is probably better politically without major concessions.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago

There are no good options as long as the MAGoos have any power.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 year ago (1 children)

If this was house of cards they would be black mailing the reps in the oval office with photos of all their kinks.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 year ago (1 children)

True story. After the 2016 election, there was a panel discussion with the creators of House of Cards, Scandal, The West Wing, and all the other US political TV shows. All the participants said the same thing; if they'd had a character denigrate American POWs the way Trump did in real life, the networks and advertisers would have demanded that the character be treated like a pariah on the show. We're already beyond anything fictional TV could allow.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 year ago

"Reality is stranger than what TV advertisers can imagine" is a lot less interesting than "reality is stranger than fiction"

[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 year ago
[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 year ago

Not the way those numbers are trending.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 year ago

Maybe if he tried even MORE death threats? That would probably work...

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 year ago
[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 year ago

Do it again!

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 year ago (3 children)

genuinely shocked they didn't enthusiastically elect this pedo

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