this post was submitted on 26 Oct 2023
337 points (94.2% liked)

RPGMemes

10263 readers
114 users here now

Humor, jokes, memes about TTRPGs

founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
 

For context, they managed to successfully accomplish an impossible task (defeating a Lich with it's minions) to save their tribe's armoury and magical item stash. So their master, an Ancient Red Dragon, will give them an item from his own collection

top 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] [email protected] 74 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (3 children)

ever published

Hold on, I need to refer to my Book of Erotic Fantasy.

their master, an Ancient Red Dragon

That gives me some ideas.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 1 year ago (5 children)
[–] [email protected] 18 points 1 year ago (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 year ago

Ah yes, the bad dragon. An interesting and wholesome thing, really. Go look for it when you have time at work.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 year ago

*beer opens

Keep going

*lands feet on coffee table

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 year ago

Voodoo dildo my ass

load more comments (3 replies)
load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 49 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Art not from me, but unless you are new here you know that already

[–] [email protected] 26 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (2 children)

Be careful that they don't end up asking for stuff like... I dunno

The wand of Orcus

The book of vile dead

Sphere of annihilation

all magic items includes the items wielded by gods haha

[–] [email protected] 25 points 1 year ago

The wand of Orcus

Sounds actually a fun item to roleplay for a DM :)

[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 year ago

The Armor of the Dread Emperor.

[–] [email protected] 44 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Love Konsi! She deserves to be the new meme format.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I cannot believe some no life gave this a downvote. I agree with you

[–] [email protected] 17 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

Honestly if nothing else comes from lemmy, we at least got Konsi out of it. It's all worth it now.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 23 points 1 year ago (1 children)

For Konsi, the perfect item would be the Resurrection Sphere. Infinite use wish-tier resurrection, with a 1 minute casting time.

It still counts if it's a 3pp Pathfinder item, right?

[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 year ago (1 children)

For Konsi indeed good choice. She wouldnt care they come back as different races. Which would lead to both hilarious and fucked up moments with the families of the deceased

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 23 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I choose the Scroll of Konsi. When someone picks it up and reads it, the text changes and says something that makes them surprised.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

One blank Scroll of Konsi, as requested:

:) !!

[–] [email protected] 21 points 1 year ago (4 children)

I haven't seen Ahdok for a while, hope they're okay :(

[–] [email protected] 21 points 1 year ago

I think the last comic was the end of a story. Dont know if there will be more... hope so :,(

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 year ago (2 children)

They ran out of their backlog of comics.

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 year ago

They're still posting on Mastodon. They did say that they had finished up the story arc/backlog that had. So not as many posts around here.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 18 points 1 year ago (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 15 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Get whatever has the highest resale value, then.

[–] [email protected] 18 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Which would also kickoff a fun side quest of finding a buyer, since the most expensive magical item in existence isn't exactly something you can pawn off in a random towns general store lol

[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 year ago

They are in a kobold tribe that doesnt use money in an apocalyptic world. So, good luck on finding the buyer XD

[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 year ago (1 children)

...gloves of soul catching, staff of striking, magical tattoos, there are options...

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 year ago (2 children)

No dick whip? How else do you make every part of your body lethal?

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] [email protected] 17 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Had something similar a few sessions ago; party was raiding Vecna's ancient submerged capital castle to find his Dark Library, and each one got to have one "secret" of their choice. Wizard took a diabolic contract, the quest item; Cleric took an amulet that can exorcise demons; Fighter got a divine message and took some oil of invulnerability, but he also got greedy and took a belt of storm giant's strength.

Of course, the trick is that Vecna wanted them to get those items because he'd been orchestrating the entire campaign for a payoff centuries in the future. He's not even going to show up in the campaign, all he has to do is send his AD&D minions that have nonsense like STR-draining grapple attacks and the demilich "devour soul" variant action as a gaze attack to gatekeep the library after the fact, because old-school D&D monsters don't care if you were born in 5e.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 year ago (2 children)

But... why did vecna wanted them to have these, including an item the oil that is a consumable ??

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Please offer The Head of Vecna

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 year ago

Im not offering anything. They choose

[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Ever published? I'll take a Hammership, please

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 year ago (2 children)

No can do. It has to fit in a dragon's horde. Sorry

[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 year ago

Take your head of Vecna, player, and sit down XD

[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 year ago (4 children)

A single Candle of Invocation.

load more comments (4 replies)
[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 year ago (1 children)
load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 year ago

Dragon Master

Very good. Excellent.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 year ago
[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Whats in the book of sex magic kept in ankh-moreparks dungeon? It could only be read in an ice cold room by wizards over 80 years old, ideally when dead. Sounds like a good find.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 year ago (1 children)

My 120 years old Liche : Interesting...

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 year ago (2 children)

I'm a simple man, and will just ask for a AD&D 1e Unusual Sword +5 Holy Avenger, with an Intelligence of 17. Love me that 50% magic resistance in 5 foot radius, dispel magic at will, and +10 damage vs. Chaotic Evil.

Since I'm choosing, I'll assume optimum rolls for an "unusual sword", and take: All 14 extraordinary powers: charm person, clairaudience, clairvoyance, determine direction and depth, ESP, flying, heal, illusion, leviathan, strength, telekinesis, telepathy, teleportation, and X-ray vision.

Its Special Purpose should be slay "non-human monsters" disintegrating them on a hit unless they save (sure its special purpose should be slaying evil, but that's so restrictive. It should speak 10 languages.

Before I forget, it ought to match my alignment, so its ego doesn't overwhelm mine and make me stab myself or something. But maybe that's where the fun for the DM comes in?

They sure don't make 'em like they used to.

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Aw. I'm sorry.

I've been busy drawing the daily Konsi though.

Here you go.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (5 children)

Alchemical Jug for Infinite supply of mayonnaise. Easy.

load more comments (5 replies)
[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 year ago (1 children)
load more comments (1 replies)
load more comments
view more: next ›