this post was submitted on 18 Nov 2023
923 points (97.7% liked)

Programmer Humor

31791 readers
36 users here now

Post funny things about programming here! (Or just rant about your favourite programming language.)

Rules:

founded 5 years ago
MODERATORS
 

alt text

Brain: Open your eyes.

Person sleeping on bed: Permission denied.

Brain: Sudo open your eyes.

Person sleeping on bed: The brain is not in the sudoers file. This incident will be reported.

top 19 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] [email protected] 93 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago)

brain is not in the sudoers file

i think that's called a coma or paralysis

[–] [email protected] 52 points 9 months ago (1 children)

The incident report part is what truly scares me.

[–] [email protected] 32 points 9 months ago (5 children)

I always wonder to whom this gets reported to

[–] [email protected] 92 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago) (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 3 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago)

I like Santas candy cane desktop.

[–] [email protected] 17 points 9 months ago

a little place i like to call /dev/null

[–] [email protected] 14 points 9 months ago

Real answer: it used to be common for UNIX daemons to send mail to root or to other users. This wasn't the same thing as email, because it didn't hit a network unless you set that up. But it ended up in the same mailboxes.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 9 months ago
[–] [email protected] 6 points 9 months ago

Linus Torvalds. He's making a list.

[–] [email protected] 23 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago) (1 children)

Sleep paralysis sucks a lot. It's terrifying. It would happen to me as a teen; I would be stuck in the morning. It has stopped but it's really unpleasant.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 9 months ago

It happened to me once. Maybe not sleep paralysis persay but I woke up before my body did (only for like a minute maybe). It was the most indescribably strange and alien feeling I've ever had.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 9 months ago

A Sudo joke. Daring today aren't we?

[–] [email protected] 9 points 9 months ago (1 children)

I regularly have those dreams where I am desperately trying to open my eyes because of some danger or other, but they're suuuper heavy and it doesn't work. This is that

[–] [email protected] 6 points 9 months ago

Sleep paralysis was part of untreated apnea for me. And it sucks.

I'm not a doctor, but you might consider a sleep study if you can.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 9 months ago (2 children)

The brain user would absolutely be a sudoer though, since it controls so many vital functions by default

[–] [email protected] 7 points 9 months ago

brain has both suid and sgid bit set

[–] [email protected] 3 points 9 months ago

The subconscious is a sudoer, the conscious mind is not.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 9 months ago

Can't help it, after the first frame all I hear is "open your mind, proud like a god, don't pretend to be blind"