If you have your phone, just play jazz music like Japanese toilets
You'll feel you're pooping like a gentleman
this post was submitted on 20 Jun 2023
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Shitty Life Pro Tip
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Or put your phone in the next stall over while it's playing "10 hours of fart and shit sounds" on youtube on max volume. Perfect cover.
hahahahaha or some hardcore techno!
Some kind of anal dilation tool would help, no more fatty noises just silent turds gracefully sliding out of your butthole and into the water like a stealth submarine being launched.
maybe some lube too.
I just put music on my noise canceling headphones. At least I don't realize how loud / intense the noise is, so I'm less embarrassed.
Why not do both? Put music on your noise canceling headphones and then scream loudly.