Use my own condom because I’d never trust a crazy woman to not have tampered with them
this post was submitted on 15 Dec 2023
378 points (96.8% liked)
Lemmy Shitpost
26951 readers
2706 users here now
Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.
Anything and everything goes. Memes, Jokes, Vents and Banter. Though we still have to comply with lemmy.world instance rules. So behave!
Rules:
1. Be Respectful
Refrain from using harmful language pertaining to a protected characteristic: e.g. race, gender, sexuality, disability or religion.
Refrain from being argumentative when responding or commenting to posts/replies. Personal attacks are not welcome here.
...
2. No Illegal Content
Content that violates the law. Any post/comment found to be in breach of common law will be removed and given to the authorities if required.
That means:
-No promoting violence/threats against any individuals
-No CSA content or Revenge Porn
-No sharing private/personal information (Doxxing)
...
3. No Spam
Posting the same post, no matter the intent is against the rules.
-If you have posted content, please refrain from re-posting said content within this community.
-Do not spam posts with intent to harass, annoy, bully, advertise, scam or harm this community.
-No posting Scams/Advertisements/Phishing Links/IP Grabbers
-No Bots, Bots will be banned from the community.
...
4. No Porn/Explicit
Content
-Do not post explicit content. Lemmy.World is not the instance for NSFW content.
-Do not post Gore or Shock Content.
...
5. No Enciting Harassment,
Brigading, Doxxing or Witch Hunts
-Do not Brigade other Communities
-No calls to action against other communities/users within Lemmy or outside of Lemmy.
-No Witch Hunts against users/communities.
-No content that harasses members within or outside of the community.
...
6. NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.
-Content that is NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.
-Content that might be distressing should be kept behind NSFW tags.
...
If you see content that is a breach of the rules, please flag and report the comment and a moderator will take action where they can.
Also check out:
Partnered Communities:
1.Memes
10.LinuxMemes (Linux themed memes)
Reach out to
All communities included on the sidebar are to be made in compliance with the instance rules. Striker
founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
They're for her dick.
This keeps getting better.
Oh! Then never mind, then
It turn out she has a hug strap on.
You don't need condoms for a strap on kiddo. Buckle up.
no woman who have a hello kitty condom is crazy
Say hello to her kitty
I don't want eyes anymore, thank you
I'll take them, just in a bag, thanks!
Whiskered for her pleasure.
Edit: I’m so sorry
Ask for an ID
You're supposed to bounce her, not be a bouncer
Say いいね and pound that pompompurin
It always bothered me when folks injected out of context Japanese and provided no explanation, but now I know some Japanese, so for the other folks here like me.
いいね is pronounced i-i-ne and translates to something like "nice".
The comment below わかりました is pronounced wa-ka-ri-ma-shi-ta and translates to something like "I understand".
And finally a note to the Japanese injectors. Almost no one likes when you inject Japanese out of context. If you are a student studying Japanese and inject it in context people would enjoy it more.
I accept my down votes if my observations are incorrect, have a nice day.
わかりました
Step femboy, what are you doing?
As long as she’s 18 I’d smash that shit hard.
Always finish on the bach, never on debussy.
Evidently take your phone out and post a meme about it.
What does baddie mean in this context?
A female who can hold her own and take care of herself. She is very pretty, and independent
^ is what urban dictionary says...
in the 1600s the adverb "bad" went from meaning "incorrect" to being an intensifier - "they wanted that badly" (meaning he wanted it very much, as opposed to his want being poorly formed).
This form of hyperbole has extended over the years and orphaned to a point where now the [they wanted that] part is inferred and we can refer to something as "badass" or "baddie", understanding subconsciously that is implied that it's an extender of wanting/liking something "a lot" ("badly").
Villain, you know, like Sauron or Thanos. Imagine you're about to shag one of them and they pull out a kawaii jonny, WWYD?
What would yahweh do?
Statistical analysis says gods do not use condoms.
Ask if she's got a cinnamoroll one
100% chance she put a pin through those.
Jokes on him, I got an orchiectomy
Jokes on her I got a vasectomy.
Ask if they're snug fit. I'm long and thin, like a pencil.
Let's do it to it.
Meow
Ask if she wants the second one. If we're going to be girlfriend and girlfriend, we may as well wear matching ones.