this post was submitted on 21 Dec 2023
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Superbowl

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submitted 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago) by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
 

so drop 'em if you got 'em

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[–] [email protected] 11 points 11 months ago

A man walks into a bar with an owl on his shoulder.

He says to the bartender "I bet you a hundred bucks this owl can talk!"

The bartender accepts and tells the man to prove his claim.

The man turns to the owl and says "Who gives you water and lovely owl food every night?"

The owl answers "H'you!"

The man asks the owl "Who was the President of China from 2003 to 2013?"

The owl responds "Hu!"

The man asks "What's the greatest British rock band of all time?"

The owl promptly answers "Who!"

The bartender has had enough of this nonsense and he throws the man and his owl out of the bar.

As the two of them are sitting in the alleyway, the owl turns to the man and says "Led Zeppelin?"

[–] [email protected] 11 points 11 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 15 points 11 months ago (2 children)

not nearly as bad as:

Knock, Knock!
Who’s there?
Ducks.
Ducks who?
No, ducks quack – owl’s hoo.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 11 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 5 points 11 months ago (1 children)

I’ve developed a high tolerance… my nephew just started reading not-picture books, so I got him a science-themed joke book.

Guess who loves showing off his reading skills?

[–] [email protected] 4 points 11 months ago (1 children)

If it's funny the first time, it's gotta be funny the tenth time!

I remember those times!

[–] [email protected] 1 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago) (1 children)

It is kinda funny… when you teach them a poop joke and sick them on the parents who absolutely don’t get the humor…

(Orange you glad I’m looking for owl jokes?)

[–] [email protected] 1 points 11 months ago

I always look forward to when the kids get to the pool and pee joke stage. They just find anything with those words soooooo funny even if it makes no sense. I always feel like a star comedian when they're in that phase!

[–] [email protected] 3 points 11 months ago

Hahahaha OHMYGOSH I've always said this as

Knock, knock Who's there? Cowsgo Cowsgo who? ... You can see where I'm going.

I'm glad to see others have a funnier takes!

[–] [email protected] 9 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

Knock, Knock!
Who’s there?
Hoo.
Hoo who?
You sound like an owl.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 11 months ago

Two owls are invited to a party, one of them didn’t want to go because didn’t want to be around a lot of people. The second owl says “Hey, it’s just a small group of us, and we can always leave early”. They go, food is tasty and drinks are chill, host is nice. Some barn owls crash the party. First owl says, “Oh great, now it’s a hootenanny”.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Well yeah, owls can't speak

[–] [email protected] 2 points 11 months ago

That's because they get stageflight.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 11 months ago

'When I was out the other day, I hurt my leg when an owl attacked me!'

'Tawny?'

'No, actually, it went for my thigh!'

[–] [email protected] 3 points 11 months ago (1 children)

What do you call an owl that has disappeared?

Whodini.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 11 months ago

what do you call a Murder Mystery written by an owl? A Who-dunit