I feel like no one knows what to do. What helped me was to realize that I have survived this long, why not one more day? Maybe everrything'll go to shit, but life is already shit, so nothing to lose, right?
this post was submitted on 29 Dec 2023
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I've spent most of my life at rock bottom stumbling in the dark. Alone, broken, and unable to find any kind of purpose. A history of being used and thrown aside. And I'm still there, but now I live for me as much as I can. Fuck everyone else cause they won't be there for me. I'm the only one who will be there for me so I 'do me' and don't care if others think I'm lazy, useless, or whatever.
I won't say 'tomorrow is going to be better'. But if possible maybe you can do something for you tomorrow and be 'selfish'. Even if it's buying some nuggets or flipping off a neighbor.
Try to read a book of Jeffrey young, the guy who 'invented' schema therapy. It can be arid suggest to read a book to a person who feels is gasping for psychological air, but trust me, it can help a lot to gain self aware and determine what is real, what is actual pain and what is a just a pattern.
Some of the happiest people I've met in life are hermits who live on islands or in the vast empty spaces. Most of them were happy to share their story and listen to mine. You realize at some point that they never wanted to escape the people as much as the web that is the society that tangles it all together.
Finding a place is finding a place, whatever and whoever speaks to you: Da kine is da kine is da kine.
If you don't know what to do, share your story with us and we can try to give you some good next steps.
No matter what, know that there are positive, good experiences out there for you. Not knowing how to get there is okay. It's not your fault.
Hope you feel better. I understand your struggle.
Fr