this post was submitted on 29 Dec 2023
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[–] [email protected] 228 points 10 months ago (2 children)

Then you have a kid and you spend the rest of your life

[–] [email protected] 61 points 10 months ago (6 children)

If kids are creme pies, and kids grow up to be adults, then we are all creampies.

[–] [email protected] 34 points 10 months ago (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 14 points 10 months ago

I'm taking that username so nobody else can

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[–] [email protected] 16 points 10 months ago

You sure are there, squirt.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 10 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 9 points 10 months ago

Ooh let's come up with a nickname for your kind... you're a test tube baby, so a tuber 🥔🍠 (potato emojis)

or

You! Tuber!

[–] [email protected] 10 points 10 months ago (2 children)

We are all cream pies on this blessed day

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[–] [email protected] 10 points 10 months ago

👌👌👌

[–] [email protected] 83 points 10 months ago (6 children)

Socially acceptable, How about this song from the classy 1920s:

"Oh I got nipples on my titties the size of my thumb

I got sumthin' between my legs that'll make a man cum"

I don't remember the last rest of the lyrics but damn what a banger

[–] [email protected] 44 points 10 months ago

The magnificent Lucille Bogan

And here's another great one of hers

[–] [email protected] 24 points 10 months ago (2 children)

You left out the part of the lyrics where the man is dead.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 10 months ago

Well, not anymore

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[–] [email protected] 16 points 10 months ago

sang by Nicky Minaj

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[–] [email protected] 78 points 10 months ago
[–] [email protected] 60 points 10 months ago (2 children)

Depends on your social circles I guess.

[–] [email protected] 23 points 10 months ago (8 children)

Name a social circle where you can use language like in the first example, and it's acceptable.

[–] [email protected] 73 points 10 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 22 points 10 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 26 points 10 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 17 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) (1 children)
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[–] [email protected] 55 points 10 months ago

Friends who are OK talking about and don't shame you about sex. Also friends who have a sense of fucking humor.

[–] [email protected] 48 points 10 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 26 points 10 months ago

Well you got me there

[–] [email protected] 35 points 10 months ago

I know several people in the kink community who would congratulate and be enthusiastically happy for someone who said the first, but would only politely say "congrats" to the second.

[–] [email protected] 23 points 10 months ago (2 children)

A BDSM munch comes to mind.

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[–] [email protected] 45 points 10 months ago

yes that's what euphemisms are for

[–] [email protected] 40 points 10 months ago

You can say anything you want to anyone, but there's usually a better way to say it.

[–] [email protected] 27 points 10 months ago (1 children)

I just like that someone is getting laid every night and that is part of their best life. In fact, I assumed the hot messy creampie woman is managing her fertility as she sees fit.

Also jizz is totally a drug. Dopemine, I think.

[–] [email protected] 25 points 10 months ago (1 children)

And yet the doctor tells me I have to stop snorting jizz because it's "bad for my lungs". Like, ok narc smh

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[–] [email protected] 19 points 10 months ago (4 children)

I love when this post/thought pops up because it just outs people who have no idea how pregnancy works.

[–] [email protected] 25 points 10 months ago (5 children)

What about this is not how pregnancy works, exactly?

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[–] [email protected] 20 points 10 months ago (1 children)

For real. Is the stork just chopped liver?

[–] [email protected] 11 points 10 months ago (1 children)

And no one mentions the clapping shells!

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[–] [email protected] 16 points 10 months ago (2 children)

"people", in this instance, are evidently you, which is ironically why we need more than half-assed sex ed

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[–] [email protected] 19 points 10 months ago

My wife got pregnant on our first try. Yes, I am that potent.

[–] [email protected] 17 points 10 months ago

We live in a susiety.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 10 months ago

And when they do get pregnant I'm the asshole for saying "congratulations on your successful ejaculation!"

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