Either one could be ok, depending on what the person you're talking about prefers (their preferred pronouns). But since you're asking, it sounds like no one participating in the conversation knows what this person's preferred pronouns are. So again, either one should probably be ok, so long as it's made clear you all have respect for this person's identity, even though they're not around to specify their pronouns. They/them is probably more universal and generally accepted rather than using their assigned gender pronouns, so if they're not there to verify, it's likely the default to go with.
this post was submitted on 01 Jan 2024
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I usually go with 'last known good pronouns' but this is probably something where you ask the person when they're present what they would prefer and go off that
Ty!
Do you know if that person alternates between she / her and he /him, or between other sets of pronouns, depending on which gender the person is presenting as at a given time? In that case, you could alternate between both sets of pronouns in conversation when the person is not around. Or you can do what i'm doing in this reply and avoid using pronouns for the person entirely, that's always the safest way.
Regardless, thanks for being mindful about this!
Ty!
Also, no need to thank me for doing something so bare minimum lol
I think you refer to the preferred pronouns and what they prefer to be called.
Ty!
Np!