Asklemmy

A work-life balance honestly. I've been working 12s every day this year and I'm missing out on my hobbies and my family. Financially I'm fine, but I'm gearing up for an early retirement so I don't know if I can slow down now. So hard to make time for things I actually enjoy now. Basically just want to hit that balance so I have a fulfilling life.

To stop doom scrolling, get off this toilet and to bed

A job and a decent earning.

Who are you, Lucifer? Whatever it is I want I'm not trading my soul for it, sorry.

I want to be happy.

Achievable desire? To finally be in a stable place in my life so I can be together with the people I love, and finally have friends again. Might be bisexual, and my wife is totally open to a polyamorous relationship for me to figure that out, so tbh finding that out and maybe gaining a long term boyfriend is also high on my list of desires.

Unachievable though? I want to miraculously recover from all my disabilities and health conditions so I can finally be normal. I want to stop relying on meds to keep me from turning into a batshit crazy nutcase every time I miss even a single dose. Or at least be able to take those meds every night without issue because of my damaged throat refusing to swallow nearly anything I put in my mouth except the most miniscule pills without choking and vomiting them back up. And I want to be able to operate my muscles like a normal person again, something which my meds have thoroughly fucked with, with nothing helping in the slightest. I straight up can't even move my legs if my cat's on top of them. He weighs barely 10 lbs. Plus I get sick constantly even when nobody around me is and nobody knows why. Last month alone I got sick about 6 times. I was only feeling relatively ok for about 3 days total.

The good news, I guess, is every single one of my more achievable goals are well in sight. Just a few months ago they'd all be buried deep in with the unachievable ones, so things are improving little by little.

Things have certainly vastly improved since about 3 years ago, when I couldn't even will myself out of bed. So as whiney as I sound, I'm actually quite happy with where I am and where I'm going.

Sleep, uninterrupted sleep.

To make something of myself. I had a decent paying job that I recently quit because I felt it was a waste of my time and skills. I'm passionate and I want to learn to grow.

To tell my friend that I love her

To get a job I want.

But, right right right now, my desire is that my computer doesn't get herpes after I finish downloading this thing

To be calm. I'm in a constant state of panic. I don't know what to do because the pills aren't really working... I have awfully bad anxiety.

To be better with my money. I have no idea why it's so hard for me to save.

Eat something healthy.

To finally propose to my girlfriend. Bad family circumstances have stopped that as of late, but I'd like to not worry anymore about it and just move on with my damn life...