this post was submitted on 15 Feb 2024
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The Monkey's Paw

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Want to make a wish? Just ask the Monkey’s Paw! No strings attached.*

Just create a post that starts with “I wish ___”. Other users will then grant you the wish, and probably not how you intended.

^(*)^ ^Strings^ ^definitely^ ^attached.^ ^Satisfaction^ ^not^ ^guaranteed.^ ^Wish^ ^will^ ^likely^ ^backfire.^

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[–] [email protected] 30 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago) (3 children)

Granted.

Civilization collapses within hours as employers, employees, parents, and spouses provide long suppressed, at length honest answers of how it's going to their employees, employers, children, and spouses who asked as usual as an empty platitude.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Alternative

While there is an increase in turbulence amongst relationships at every level to begin with, the end result is nothing much changes. The fact that this was the wish shows that we, as a species, understand the score. Things go on, mostly, as normal, people now have simply shirked the facade. To an outsider it may look like the whole planet suddenly became neurodivergent.

[–] vexikron 7 points 6 months ago

Yeeep.

Autist reporting here, I never have any idea exactly how which specific person wants me to lie to specifically them when they ask me many common questions that I usually just answer truthfully.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 6 months ago

"I have 3 nipples bossman, and I fucked your son in the arse and cummed."

"I've underpaid you for 6 years and sexually harassed the receptionist."

[–] [email protected] 4 points 6 months ago (1 children)

I love the implication that the emotional weight of all that was held back is enough to collapse society.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago) (1 children)

I don't think it would be close. We've chosen to build our entire civilization on intentional lies and deception between one another, and even encouraged to within ourselves, at every level. Lies many of us even roll our eyes at knowing they're lies but just resigned to going through the motions of hearing and speaking.

We are trained to cope, shut up about our problems, and make the owners money while they lie about it trickling down, and if family life or obligations are making that harder, no they're not or you're a lazy piece of shit in this grotesque civilization's eyes.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 6 months ago (1 children)

I still find trust as the underlying mechanism of day to day interactions. My boss can tell me that the embedded machines in the fuel islands need to be updated and when I say I will do it he trusts that it will get done. I will agree that all our higher forms of labor and finances operates on deception tbough. But that gas an abstracted layer above normal day to day conversation and interactions for most people.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago) (1 children)

Are you a family though? Is how you make money for your boss so well representative of your character as they claim? In almost all cases, and moreso the larger the business, there is a different, expected dialect meant to obfuscate the purely transactional nature of your presence there, increase productivity without commensurate compensation increase, minimize the cruelty of employer's unrealistic expectations and orders, and restrict employee expression of dissatisfaction, expectation, negative affect or emotion.

The shiny, happy stepford language. Some actually come to internalize it as they actually try to play the rigged game, poor bastards.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 6 months ago

I'm simply stating that if deception were the core of human communication we eould have never built civilization in the first place. The fact that it is still mostly operating shows that most people still operate on truth as their core communication tenant. Otherwise if I ordered a burger at a restaurant the staff would actually have to deduce I wanted a salad.

[–] [email protected] 18 points 6 months ago

Granted.

The sudden change leads to mass chaos but after the dust settles people fall into antisocial behaviours and prefer silence over speaking honestly.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago) (1 children)

Have you seen the film The Invention of Lying?

[–] [email protected] 1 points 6 months ago

I have, but in that movie the concept of being untruthful was completely unknown to them. I imagined my scenerio as more of a global scale version of Liar Liar.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 6 months ago

Granted.

Truth or Dare and, consequently, slumber parties are ruined forever.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 6 months ago

Granted.

No catch. That’s already going to have astoundingly bad repercussions.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 6 months ago

Granted.

Humanity is now on the verge of extinction because people starting killing each other after too much honestly

[–] [email protected] 2 points 6 months ago

Granted.

No one to lie to you also means no one to lie for you.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 6 months ago
[–] vexikron 0 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago)

Does this dress make me look fat?

Did you cum?

Am I the best partner you've ever had?

And now something like 80% of American romantic relationships are over.