CatMarki

Lately I have been trying to get myself to go out more often. I have been going to a few meetup groups with other people in my city to try to get myself to socialize a bit more, because I have a really hard time with it. They have all gone fine and I have had a good time, but something that I have noticed is that nearly everyone, at least in these situations, just want to talk about their job. Many of them would literately not talk about anything else at all. I'll even attempt to try to talk about something else, but the conversation always goes back to them talking about their job. I'm fine with telling people about what I do for work and what not, but I swear nearly everyone at these meetups just wanted to talk about their job. Personally, the last thing I want to talk about in a casual conversation is talk about my job, but it seems like the complete opposite for everyone else. The organizer of one of these meetups even asked people to try to talk about things not work work related and people still did anyways. There were several people even networking one one of these meetups, even when they were told not to?

It's not that I don't want people to talk about their jobs, especially if they enjoy it. I just feel like my work isn't interesting at all, so I don't have a lot to say about it to other people. I don't know if talking about your job is just a common thing for other people my age and I am just stubborn about it cause Autism and what not, or if I am actually frustrated that I have a hard time adding to those conversations. It makes me feel really dumb when other people are having these conversations and I have no idea what to say, and feeling like I can't connect with anyone at all. It happened so much at the last meetup that I almost felt too stupid to talk to other people and just sat around a lot trying to find someone not talking about their job. Is this just a normal thing for most people that I need to get used to?

Going to go to a meetup tomorrow for a picnic with other people, hopefully to try to be social and talk to some new people. I know this is very casual and not a big deal, but I have had really bad social anxiety basically my whole life. I don't know if this is related to the Autism, or if its because I didn't make any friends or relationships in high school or college at all and got treated like shit by nearly everyone, and I'm just scared of people in general because of that. However, I'm done with having no one to talk to, so I think this will be a good thing for me.

...still really nervous tho.

(Also I'm debating if I should disclose if I am Autistic at any point tomorrow. Never did it before with anyone else I tried to talk and make friends with but it didn't help at all. Maybe only if someone else says it?? idk maybe if there is a right moment to do it.)