Crackhappy

I am seriously thinking of commissioning a simple tungsten cube emblazoned with cuneiform style figures, set up on a stainless steel platform. For the legacy. For someone millions of years from now.

Will you be there to support Managed Democracy?!?

I ran outside,

Utterly silent,

Utterly dark,

Searching the morn for a glimmer,

No sun.

I really love to listen to a wide variety of music. Beethoven, Biz Markie, Salieri, Nina Simone, etc. but I just... never really watched Music Videos until recently. I am astounded that I simply missed out on decades of visual feast. Nine Inch Nails - Closer. George Michael, Freedom '90, an entire decade of MIssy Ellliot nonsense, and of course Aha.

What, in your opinion, is the best music video that you are sure I will like? I'm old, as evidenced by my grammar and lack of spelling.

The love of my life died when she was 38. Our four children were 15, 13, 11 and 9 at the time. They're currently 22, 24, 26, 28. I did my best that I knew how to do. I know it is not what they deserved. I could never take her place.

I do not think that I can impart, with words, how hard it was keeping her from the things that would harm her most. Aa time goes on, the trauma hits me harder, as I let it in, little by little.

I love my late wife. I love the mother of my children. Keeping her from hurting herself was... Difficult.

The wracking sobs as I called 911, while performing CPR on her. It's been almost 15 years and it's still traumatizing.

Her mother blames me for her death. To be honest. She might be right. I didn't keep her baby safe. I could have tried harder. I could have insisted on her being committed. I could have abrogated her right to self determination. But I didn't. And that's on me.

But I can't tell her mother that. Or her sons or daughter.

Instead. I tell you. Thanks for listening.