Edamamebean

Pontius Pilate, famous for being Jewish

This is a cookie. Why would you call this a cake. It's not like you're gonna cut slices out of it.

The thought that there are people out there who would still believe this is maddening

"Don't just say you'd get rid of imperialism or colonialism"

Proceeds to get rid of at least half of colonialism

No offense but I don't believe you or any other onion hater. Alliums and their flavours are in practically every dish of practically every cuisine on the planet. Saying you don't like onions is like saying you don't like water.

In the mean time, everyone put on your evil goatees

Uhhhh if you like your beanis, you can keep it

I feel like I most often see this genre refered to as "psychological thrillers". What you're describing sounds a little more specific than that, but it's where I would start. You also might like Enemy (2013). It's about a man who spots someone who appears to be his exact double in the background of a movie. Things start to become very strange when he tries to find out who he is.

So basically academics in the economic field who aren't totally morally bankrupt but still wanna keep their nice university jobs?

Yup it's pretty much that, exacerbated in this case by the fact that auto manufacturing makes up an unusually large portion of Ontario's economy. Ontario produces the second most cars of any state or province in North America after Michigan.

Enough sight taglines, we need audio taglines for visually impaired comrades

Hmm, that's a lot more tricky, sorry comrade. I agree with the other person who replied, best solution in that case is probably an air purifier by the door. Either than or open all the windows whenever you enter, but that's not really feasible unless you live in a very temperate climate

Edit: I just realized, if there's a window near the door, you could also try turning your apartment into a positive pressure room via a window AC so that air only flows out when the door is opened. But I have no idea if that would actually work in practice. Just an idea.