Hyacinths are really pretty

another volume done

Venting again about my dad, but I heard about 3x3 basketball and it seems kind of fun from the videos I saw. Anyways my dad loves sports and I thought like "hey maybe this is something we could bond on! since I kind of like this" and what happens? my dad just immediately shuts me down and like, thanks dad! sorry for trying to bond with you!

I had some trouble understanding this chapter, and I watched David Harvey video on this chapter as he covers the next one to, and it's really interesting, esp. when he links this chapter to planned economies and talks more about like planned economies later on in the video like around an hour in. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9rSZo_aeuak

it's just interesting to see him link this chapter and Marx's schemas/illustrations to planned economies and that.

Just sad, I don't want him to die.

I found this part really interesting, mainly contradictions being transferred to a wider sphere

Foreign trade could help out in either case: in the first case in order to convert commodities I held in the form of money into articles of consumption, and in the second case to dispose of the commodity surplus. But since foreign trade does not merely replace certain elements (also with regard to value), it only transfers the contradictions to a wider sphere and gives them greater latitude.

He tells me he fine. Maybe I'll get the occasional he's feeling sick. But he doesn't really say how he doing. All I can do is sometimes take him at his word despite like, how he doesn't seem fine. Especially with his cough of his that he had since october, that only been getting worse. Sometimes he does start talking about what to do if he ever dies, but I don't know if it because he drunk or if there something else going, since he just doesn't really tell me much.

I don't know if he has fluid building up in his abdomen or not. He doesn't like, talk much about his health stuff. If I ask, he says he's fine or gives me the occasional spill that he mad at his doctor for telling him to stop drinking, or that his blood test for his liver stuff wasn't good. Sometimes, he will say he feels sick. Only thing I can tell is his eyes, where there yellow. I can't really tell if his skin is yellowing since he's not white. There are times when he doesn't sound fine, like last month or whenever it was, me and him went grocery shopping, it sounded like he was grunting in pain? Then there his cough that he had since last October, that like, only been getting worse. Sometimes it sounds like he coughing something up. But he just tells me he's fine, despite not sounding fine or looking fine at times. Maybe I'm just losing my mind I don't know. Also like lately he still been having blood pooling under his skin, that like comes and goes

I want to say that at least he is doing better unlike last year at the beginning/or the previous year before last. where like he was vomiting a lot and shaking a ton because he was hardly eating at all. Then also blacking out and falling down and hitting his head. I don't know. He also like old to and really needs to stop drinking.

yea, esp. this part that also interesting.

Once the capitalist form of reproduction is abolished, it is only a matter of the volume of the expiring portion — expiring and therefore to be reproduced in kind — of fixed capital (the capital which in our illustration functions in the production of articles of consumption) varying in various successive years. If it is very large in a certain year (in excess of the average mortality, as is the case with human beings), then it is certainly so much smaller in the next year. The quantity of raw materials, semi-finished products, and auxiliary materials required for the annual production of the articles of consumption — provided other things remain equal — does not decrease in consequence. Hence the aggregate production of means of production would have to increase in the one case and decrease in the other. This can be remedied only by a continuous relative over-production. There must be on the one hand a certain quantity of fixed capital produced in excess of that which is directly required; on the other hand, and particularly, there must be a supply of raw materials, etc., in excess of the direct annual requirements (this applies especially to means of subsistence). This sort of over-production is tantamount to control by society over the material means of its own reproduction. But within capitalist society it is an element of anarchy.