NoLeftLeftWhereILive

I am in my postcovid phase again. This is the third or fourth time and every time I've lost more of my overall health. The first time was the worst and longest, ended up in the hospital that time. After the Omicron one I developed plantar fasciitis and pains so bad that my running and jumping has ended for good. There's been so many weird issues, even teeth breaking. Also flared up my sciatica that has been fine for a decade or more.

But the thing that disables me the most is the nausea and gagging, the GI stuff and POTS I get from it. And it's back again. This time no bad coughing and thankfully not too much mental stuff, but oh man the heart/GI symptoms suck! I spend months gagging on the side of the road when leaving for work after I get it every damn time. It is always worse in the morning and I was just rid of it when I got infected again by my "living like it's 2019" family, for the second time within a year.

I am four weeks in this time and I have a high pounding heartrate after eating and on standing up, some nights I wake up to my heart pounding. Also very hightened stress response, feels like I am just wired all the time. This has happened to me every time, the first time it even gave me the worst panic attacks ever that came fully out of nowhere, it was wild and felt 100% physical.

Oh and interesting new pain stuff along with the foot and joint pains: Yesterday I did a bit of foam rolling to my back and neck to see if it might help with the nausea ans stress. I have done this for years with no issue. Today I feel like someone rolled over my spine with a truck. It's like my entire back is inflamed.

This post covid inflammation is hell. I wonder if I'll still make it, if my heart will.

Just a bit of rant, I am just scared and tired of this. My life is pretty good atm otherwise, I finally would have steady work and income after decades of poverty, I even like my work. Life is more secure and I am just happpier because I know I am audh now and have gotten rid of a lot of brainworms. But this virus feels like it will end me and it feels like there is nothing whatsoever I can do to truly prevent this. We are and have been very cautious, but extended family keeps bringing it to us or we are forced to get it from work/studies. I am not sure my body can keep rolling this dice even once anymore. And we can't even get boosters here, they just aren't available to us.

My partner who was high risk to begin with has developed diabetes after the infection we got for Christmas 2023. And after this time he is just very very brain foggy and has been irritable, not at all himself. I don't know what I'd do if I lost him to this.

For the people who still believe the EU is anything more than an union for the interest of capital they have now put up this site as a promise of maybe possibly considering taxing the rich if we just sign a petition.

This is European "democracy". Many of these peoples petitions have been implemented so they can say there are mechanisms of straight democracy, but in reality these rarely impact anything.

I find it patricularly ghoulish that it is the economic union itself promoting this petition, it's the same playbook as in all the environmental things. Gives people false hope and an image that something is being done when in fact nothing will change. But a few more years of status quo is secured with things like these.

I posted after Christmas on how my "it's just a cold" wing of the family came to Christmas dinner sick and gave my partner and me covid. My partner was almost hospitalized and developed type 2 diabetes after. I spent months almost throwing up every time I started to move more, daily nausea and GI issues and lots of back and joint pain. Also palpitations and brachycardia, so much shit.

My partner just got his fitness back up so he was able to run his beloved easy 5k runs again and I was rid of the nausea and pain mostly. Doing stairs at work without feeling like death and winded after felt pretty good. We were so happy about this, just talked about it last week. That we might get our lives back, one more time. We have been down the covid/postcovid road too many times now.

Then we had a birthday party last weekend for my family. My dad has just been on an IV antibiotic and he was also there. I thought beforehand that surely nobody comes sick this time because our dad and surely Christmas was a lesson.

But nope, the "you ruin our vibes if you mention covid"-team came to the party with illness in the family. One of their voices sounded off/congested and I was like, oh no. I didn't dare ask because last time I did, I got yelled at.

Today, two days after this party my partner gets a sore throat. By evening he has a 39 C fever that isn't responding to otc meds and red bloodshot eyes. We do a test, it's covid.

Been seeing "Finland has eradicated homelesness" posts a lot from typically "socialism is when the government does stuff"-leftists or some AmeriKKKan Bernie lib and it has become such an angering thing for me. It is all neoliberal country branding.

That is all it is. Our shitty pseudo-leftist nato loving "modern left" party has gone around flexing about their progressive housing program. The party has no power, zero. It means nothing.

I work with homeless people, in Finland. Where almost all housing has been privatized. Where the state support has been cut to a level no poor person can meet. If ones rent goes over this state mandated limit, people are forced to move. This leads to movement into rural areas where there is no work or services, factually creating segregation.

If you have a mark on your credit, nobody rents to you. I spend my time trying to house these people and every time I see this meme/info floated on the internet I become more annoyed.

The next time anyone goes "oh look at that socialist finland eradicating homelessness" you can say that this neoliberal austerity hell has nothing whatsoever to do with socialism, never really did and they definitely have not eradicated anything.

Early autumn loot is really getting started where I live. Chantarelles have been abundant for weeks now and these guys are just now starting to surface, about three weeks earlier than last year. And looking at how much small ones there were, it's going to be an epic year for mushroom drying. This truly is the poor mans truffle.

This is just next level.

I too always like it when I get to choose who oppresses me, makes it feel so much better./s

(No links, because not sure how big or small of an account this Harris lib has. Screenshotted from Mastodon.)

Ffs been listening to the yelling of a pathetic little nazi next door for over a year now at least two nights a week.

As I sit here on my couch on a Friday, brain fried from work, this fucking guy just yells his hate into the void and never shuts up! It's like an endless rant from this poor mans Alex Jones that is just constant. He hollers and yells about "the immigrants" endlessly.

Last week he did this shit with his window open so I recorded it. Went on an on about how he sure lives on welfare, but HE has a right to it because in his mind welfare is for WHITE PEOPLE. And he makes sure to constantly mention how immigrants are all rapists etc. How they all came hear to steal jobs. Also thinks Trump is amazing. And we aren't even in AmeriKKKa.

It's vile, constant, disgusting hate speech and this is like max a 20 year old guy who has never held a job and yet lives in good housing, has a car and is secure, meanwhile the people I work with are homeless while driving doordash for shitheads like him. I cannot find in me any solidarity for this person whatsoever, I have tried. He proudly proclaimes how he doesn't even want to work and how the benefits he gets are too small because of, you guessed it, immigrants. He hates women and queers deeply too and I know all this because I get to enjoy this show every single week, several nights a week.

This loser does not shut up even for a second, who the f listens to that!? Somebody clearly does. There is no point in reporting this anywhere either, because the only place I can do that to is the cops who are fash and basically agree with this asshole. Isn't it funny how the place that should handle hate speech is the literal fash central itself, such nordic country justice...

I have made like ten complaints to our housing manager, this is social housing. It has done nothing. I am at the point where I want to go do something stupid and I just need to vent. I can't with the hate this guy is spewing, it's unreal. It scares me, it makes me so incredible angry and most of of all it makes me feel entirely helpless because there is nothing and no-one left who would care or do something to stop this. His views are basically the popular position now and it is making me panic.

And I can't confront a guy who talks about killing people. I am not brave enough for that. I don't know what to do. All I know is that when the snow comes I will write NAZI on his shit car every day when I walk past it.

Saw this posted online. It's uhm, very interesting. Also uses the word "tankie".

Found info of a New York based ngo from the site, but anyone know what this is about?

I don't even know how to start unpacking this, but I just need to vent about it. I am late self-diagnosed audhd afab, gen X who has learnt a lot of unhealthy hustle culture and looking busy brainworms over the years. Been down the burnout path a few times too before I realized my neurotype around 2020.

I am currently working in a client facing, but also laptop touching position where I am constantly "out of work". I am always on top of the things I should do, because I always do them right away or otherwise I know I would forget them. I have constant "impostor syndrome" and question myself on whether I am doing enough, because I always end up with all this downtime. The work has no set structure and we very much manage ourselves. I have secretly compared my calender to my coworkers and I tend to have more client appointments than most, yet for example this week I have just been bored out of my mind for days. And questioning if I am somehow doing this wrong.

I am having a remote day today and am just here posting. I don't know why I feel weird about it when rationally I know that I very much earn my wage and just do the work differently than others. I for example write very fast. And solve things very fast.

But my question remains, do neurotypicals just fake it? Or do they think they are busy all the time? I for one do a lot of remote work and at the office I introvert it. I am always about the work, not socializing much, so my worktime never goes to those things.

I eat at my desk while I work too, I tried the neurotypical style of taking breaks, but it just doesn't work for me mid-task. My breaks are the bus drives to clients houses or slacking in the morning pretending to be online in Teams.

But I am having to do a lot of pretending and I think that is the part that is draining me. I actually really like my work and am probably pretty good at it, but this keeping up appearances stuff is exhausting and causes all kinds of self doubt.

I did teaching previously and the daily structure in it with the shorter day was a lot easier to handle. But I can't find things to do for eight hours in my current work. And I know nobody works eight hours in the office, but why is the pretend so hard for me? I feel weird listening to audiobooks in my worktime and I want to stop feeling that way, but I think it's the autistic lawful good that makes me feel kind of bad about it.

So, I haven't done much travelling in my life because been poor, but am now in a position to maybe plan a trip for myself and my partner. To China is where we would love to go.

I love train travel and dislike flying, did not enjoy the one trip over the Atlantic I have been on, so I was thinking about taking the trans-Siberia train to Peking, but it looks like I can't actually get to it now from Finland. I also don't really want to fly for climate reasons. There used to be a train straight to Moscow from Helsinki, but the warmongering started and now there is nothing. Also I keep getting 404s when searching for flights to Russia, the flight to Moscow to get to the train wouldn't be so bad.

Is it really not possible to go do this train trip from Europe atm? Anybody know? Been searching the internet and there is very little info on this or other train access to China from Europe. I found freight trains.

I am one of those who is both adventurous and seeks planned things at the same time, so would have to have a good premade plan and bookings for the trip. I was thinking we could do the highspeed rail in China to sort of travel across the country from Peking to Shanghai. Would be a month long thing at least, after I finish my masters and current work contract.

But looks like it isn't easily doable.

It's all like this. I don't even understand where the stuff in this page is coming from, but "coercion and violence of communist rule" is once again just thrown in there.

Also this book seems to really be looking down on the working class from my reading, although I suppose it tries to highlight some issues. Not to mention all the discourse about social capital or other types of capital, but never actual capital.

This also reads like a weird sort of celebration of neoliberalism as inevitable, but then again I am just so tired of reading stuff like this that I am probably not giving it much credit.

Book is called "masculinity, labor and neoliberalism".

So what are your plans for May Day 2024?

I am thinking we will go visit a Red memorial and watch the ceremony there, then maybe some marching and singing with comrades.