Rampsquatch

Project Wingman has the solution: Destroy California.

Thank you for enlightening me to the existence of this text, internet stranger.

Is that my dad?

For matching the height of a dock.

I hope I end up as a post ghost.

I pick all of the above

No work, only funding.

We only have one side of this story, and the source is an anonymous 4chan user, you wanna bet there are some details missing?

Okay, I'll start by not trusting you.

Good value for only one red mana

This is cursed.

Realistically, no matter where you went, you would be bringing so many diseases that nobody would have immunity to. Instead of bringing them protection from small pox, you would just bring them Covid.