I just got home from work, and she immediately greeted me at the door and led me to her food bowl so I could watch her eat. She was born feral, so she needs me to watch over her while she eats because she's concerned about predators.

When she was finished eating, she sped off across the apartment and into the bedroom, so I chased her in there. She's really weird and loves butt spanks, so she was waiting with her butt up in the air, lmao. So after I slapped her back and forth with my hands a few times, I ran away from her towards the living room. I hid behind the coffee table, and after a five second delay, I heard her run at full speed to me. When she found me, she slapped me on the forehead. Then she took off to the kitchen, where she was waiting for more butt slaps.

This is a game of tag that we play with each other almost every night when I get home, and it's one of the highlights of my day, lol. She's bizarre, and I love her.

After shifting my understanding of gender to viewing it as a spectrum and not as a binary matter, I've grown more comfortable with my identity. But I'm having a tough time figuring out where I fit. I'm a dude, I guess. Like, I have a beard, my voice is on the deeper side, and I've always identified as one. But I've never liked having to fit a stereotypical male role. Living in a binary society, I've always been made fun of or ridiculed for being, "girly."

And that leads to the first part of my questions. How do I describe the masculine and feminine parts of my personality without being misogynistic? We want to break down gender stereotypes, but how do we talk about masculinity or femininity without being guilty of what we're trying to end?

I'm going to attempt to describe how I feel about my gender identity at the risk of reinforcing these ideas, but I'm coming from a place where I want to understand. So please correct me where appropriate.

I've had at least two dozen people in my life ask if I was or accuse me of being gay. I've had both men and women call me a little b**ch. My family has made fun of me because I don't like getting dirty or doing hard manual labor. This has caused a lot of pain for me over the years.

There's really nothing that masculine about me. I'm a petite and pretty delicate person. I don't have much arm or leg hair, and my hands are the size of a 13-year-old girl's. I have a strong sense of empathy and I'm very aware of my emotions.

I would much rather feel small and cute versus manly or handsome. When cuddling with someone, I like being the little spoon and feeling comforted and safe. I like more feminine body washes and deodorants. I'd like to take a stab at wearing mascara to accentuate my eyelashes, and foundation to have a more even-looking skintone.

Thinking about embracing my femininity makes me feel super cozy inside. I would LOVE to not have to live life as a "guy", where I'm expected to "man up", be tough, and crush down my emotions and sensitivity. After thinking about these things for the past few weeks, I've realized that I was at my most toxic behavior when I was trying to be what I thought a man was. Putting myself first at the expense of others, constantly having to find sexual conquests, trying to be the "man" in a hetero relationship. It just isn't me, and it's not a good way to live.

So, I don't know if I'm non-binary, or if I'm just a feminine man. I really don't think I fit into the male gender box, but I'm positive that I'm not a female. Am I NB, or am I just looking for a way to justify being a soft and gentle man? I could use some advice and I'd love to hear from other AMABs who've realized they were NB.

Some takeaways:

1. Trump is the most pro-life, anti baby-murder president we've ever had, and it's a demonic plot that stole the election from him. The communist Democrats are hell-bent on killing as many babies as possible to show their allegiance to Satan.

2. Then they showed a clip of a Muslim devotional video which claimed Allah was the one true god. After the clip ended, they started praising Trump for keeping the borders closed. If he let the Muslims in, rampant evil would spread across our great nation the likes of which has never been seen, collapsing our institutions to enact Sharia Law.

3. They then showed protesters at an ICE detention camp, holding signs such as, "Family Has No Borders", "Close the Camps", and "Abolish ICE". They began to harangue the protesters, calling them Marxist actors who want to let as many illegal drug dealers and traffickers into our country as possible, in order to weaken our amazing president's administration.

This was all within ten minutes, lol. TV Christianity is literally just state propaganda of the Republican party. Nothing that they spoke about had anything to do with God or Christ.