Wisely
Just wanted to say that I find your background really interesting. I live in the US and my older relatives came from Deutschland. They have all died by now, but I have lots of memories of the language. I have been attempting to learn the language now as an adult by myself.
I have never met anyone else in the United States who had any German family history or interest in the language. Curious which area you live in? Do you have other German speakers in your area?
Also same about not being able to maintain friendships. Maybe it's just normal cycling as time passes and you both change. I also wonder if it's because I have never met anyone that I could relate to or discuss my interests with. It may be that I am a low maintenance friend as well, you can contact me whenever, but some people get upset if you aren't in nearly daily conversation.
I am middle aged but I know what you mean. As I got older I realized that I was creating the suffering.
Not fitting in can become a story that plays in your head. If you pay attention most the people around you don't notice this or don't care. For all you know they may feel they don't fit in themselves either.
Even if it was true, would it really matter? I found that I was striving to meet societal expectations that weren't things I even valued. Could it be that you feel left out because you feel pressured to meet these expectations but are just going through the motions?
Besides those typical reasons being an ausländer is going to be difficult regardless. Especially if you have autism. Maybe there just aren't many people around that have your lived experience. That's ok it's a good time to meet different types of people. When you get back home you have the rest of your life to meet people you have more in common with.
When dealing with these people I try to keep in mind that they are probably freaking out at the possibility of a far right dictatorship under Trump. Fear makes people lash out in desperation.
That and long distance travel are my concerns. Will I have to keep stopping for long charging sessions. Will there even be a charger on the route at all.
A third concern is how safe the lithium batteries are for charging, it would have to be inside my garage that is on the 1st floor. I guess it's probably not too much of a concern but I worry about even leaving small lithium batteries charging unattended.
They give up on everything else all the time. I wonder if expanding their ad business is the one exception though. They ran out of new users and already pack videos full of ads. Forcing them on people who block them is the only thing left for them to attempt as they seek to continue perpetual growth.