We already chuck a couple of metres of the Holderness coast into the sea every year. Is that not good enough for you?
fakeman_pretendname
Me "Hi, is that, umm... Phones, number four, uhhhh?"
Phones4u "Haha, yes, but It's pronounced 'Phones For You'"
Me "Oh, it's it a wrong number? I've got it written down here, it's a number four, not a word 'for' f-o-r, and it's not the word 'you', but just a letter U on its own, which is pronounced 'uh'"
Phones4u "yes, that's how we write it"
Me "Why? Why didn't you do it properly? It's just like that argument with the 90s boyband Fiveive all over again."
Etc etc
Is it a weird guilt thing?
I hated that song when the programme was new, but now I feel guilty about it, because someone was trying their best, and they wrote, re-wrote, edited and worked on that song and for every instrument and vocal, someone practised and practised and performed, and even if it wasn't quite to my taste, it doesn't mean it was bad, and I picture them still crying themselves to sleep at night, twenty years later, going "everyone hates the song I did for Star Trek Enterprise and now I hate myself", so I make sure to watch the full intro so I don't hurt their feelings.
That's what everyone else does too, right?
As I've reached middle age, and my sense of taste degrades, I've downgraded cucumber's taste from "rancid farts" through "standard farts" to "mild farts".
They still taste of farts, but eventually you just decide that life's easier if you just accept that cucumbers and most cruciferous veg tastes of farts, but hardly anybody else can taste it and they don't know what you're on about, so you just eat them and say "yum yum, that was great" for the sake of a quiet life.
From the 90s (in a small patch of Yorkshire), I remember Townies, Scallies, Kevs (seemingly a lot of them were called Kev where I lived), Carlings (a drink of choice, perhaps?), and Scrotes (i.e. ballbags). Neds was sometimes used as an alternative, but wasn't common.
I don't think I heard "Chavs" until the early 2000s. Never quite sure if they were actually the same thing - as the "Chav" thing seemed to have a class/wealth element, that "Chavs were poor/working class", whereas the Townies/Scallies/Kevs of my teen years were certainly all from richer families than me and my friends, they just liked to rob people, smash up bus shelters and shops and attack people (especially those who were "gay looking" or "foreign looking").
This is good, but they could really do with running these for older people too.
Here's one I heard this week for example:
"My friend down at the bowls club said on Facebook that they're not even real immigrants, but they're special forces soldiers from the secret UN Army and they're bringing them over here to take over the British and they've all got really good shoes and mobile phones you see, that's how you can tell and they're all of fighting age aren't they?"
- Rupert Murdoch
- The Daily Mail, Express, Telegraph
- Nigel Farage
- Elon Musk
- Putin's Internet disinformation army
"Phwoar! Most of the people in this hospital are wearing nurse's uniforms! Kinky!"
This is brilliant.
I'm going to store it in my long-term memory as "true".
Without facial hair, he just looks like a thumb.
If you like Point and Click adventures (are they still called that?), have you ever tried Yorkshire Gubbins? Very silly humour.
To be fair, these days they're all at it. For instance, Dulux has ones like "Poisoned Apple" and "Treasured Memory", and I'm pretty sure Wilkos used to have one called "Oaty Dreams".