Sofia "Buff Girlfriend" @sofiabuffgf
Installing a bidet at home was life changing but unfortunately it's transformed pooping on company time from a small proletarian victory into yet another grueling humiliation of inadequate working conditions.
this post was submitted on 14 May 2024
1426 points (98.9% liked)
Microblog Memes
5203 readers
1977 users here now
A place to share screenshots of Microblog posts, whether from Mastodon, tumblr, ~~Twitter~~ X, KBin, Threads or elsewhere.
Created as an evolution of White People Twitter and other tweet-capture subreddits.
Rules:
- Please put at least one word relevant to the post in the post title.
- Be nice.
- No advertising, brand promotion or guerilla marketing.
Related communities:
founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
view the rest of the comments
I know corporate overlords wish there could be, but I don't think we're at the point of having someone in there with you to check that you're actually pooping just yet..
So poop at home, then just sit there and catch up on your scrolling on company time..
Do you guys have that much control over when and where you poop? I see this idea of "just hold it in until you get to your preferred location" fairly regularly and that seems insane to me. It's not like my poops are an imminent emergency every time but I definitely couldn't hold it in more than an hour or maybe two on the high end, and that would be pretty uncomfortable. That's not enough time to get home in many cases. In other words, when it hits, I shits.
I generally go once in the morning (going from being horizontal in bed to being vertical out of it usually does the trick) then I'm done for the day. But even if I have to go again I can generally hold it at least for a bit unless it's a food poisoning type situation.. ¯\(ツ)/¯
But then, digestive systems vary widely, so all that matters is what's normal for you.
This sounds like heaven to me. Pure. Heaven.
-Crohn'sGang
I actually have IBS so I feel your pain, to some extent anyway.. For most of my life I was not regular and would go anything from once every few days to several times a day, but then at some point, it just... Regulated? I don't know how or why, I wish I could give some advice, but it just happened..
UC cousin in the house. I got a cheap bidet seat, loved it, and ended up splurging for the full on Toto, automated, temperature adjusted, and air dry bidet. If THAT'S not heaven, it's awfully close .
Seriously, you'll practically weep with how much less miserable a flare up is with one of these nearby.
I have the seat attached unit as well. Maybe next year I'll work out a way to budget in the full deal.
It sure does sound good.
I am not a Doctor.
At the risk of providing TMI, one way to go is to basically schedule it by training your body to go at consistent times of day. Eventually, your circadian rhythms and your bowel work together and you're on track. More from actual doctors here; advice is for constipation but the gist is the same.
Edit: strong coffee with breakfast really helps.
I use coffee to my advantage of planning my poops, I like to get to work early for partly the reason of being able to poop while the restroom is still cleanish
I can control it. However, the indignity of pooping like a savage without a bidet is far preferable to the discomfort of flexing my sphincter all day.
I wish I was like my wife who just wakes up and poops right away. But alas I don't get going until after my second cup of coffee.
AI will do that soon. Until then, managers can ask employees to donate vacation hours to make up for people who take too long in the bathroom.
I guess pass that hurdle when we get to it..
They can ask lol