this post was submitted on 26 May 2024
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Self Improvement
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It's kinda just been steady going for me recently. Coming up on a month of not drinking which is the longest I've gone since I was like 16. I'm well over a month of not smoking weed. My mouth is still healing so my exercise desires are pretty limited. If my heart rate gets too high I get a throbbing pain in my face so I'm not pushing it.
I really want to buy a motorcycle but whenever I get close to deciding which one to get I end up in a weird depressed state where I realize how pointless it is and a waste of what little money I have it would be. It will bring me happiness but I know that objects don't really ever make me happy for long and the thought of having 2/3/4 years of payments is making me seriously hesitant. I'm not in an area where it's easy to ride year round too (even though I have in the past).
In a general sense I'm just feeling very stuck rn.
very proud of you!
not gonna tell you whether to make a financial decision like that but I guess whether it's a good idea or not depends on why exactly you like driving motorcycles, over, say, a car or a regular bike (if the commute is feasible with one where you live).
as in, if it's for the thrill of driving it, if you really wanna save money and not get one then perhaps you can replicate that thrill somewhere else and feel a bit better about not getting one? if any other activity wouldn't be the same then maybe go for it? same process for other factors like cost or easier parking or so on
As it is currently I do bike to work and consider it one of my favorite parts of my day. Rain or shine I always love it. It's so much more mentally stimulating than a car. It's a reason why I did enjoy riding my old motorcycle when it was still running. It was like a part of my brain had become unlocked. It just completely changed how I perceived the world vs driving a car which feels very boxed in and restricted. But I had gotten kicked out of where I was staying and ended up crashing on couches for several months (through a very wet winter) and in that time my motorcycle fell into disrepair and no longer runs. My housing situation is stable now with access to my tools so that wouldn't be an issue anymore.
I've looked into getting my old bike up and running again but it would take significantly more skill than I have since it would require completely rewiring the bike (among other things I'm not even aware of being fucked up) and I... Don't have the time or patience to do that at the moment. It's also super old and I just don't want to bother with a carburator anymore.
A brief glance at how much money I'm saving from not drinking or smoking and I might still be coming out ahead if I buy a new bike lol
I'm in the same boat, waiting to recover fully so that I can continue exercising. It's a bummer, especially because I rely on physical activity to keep me from losing my fucking mind.
Congratulations on your sobriety streak, keep us posted! You might be feeling stuck but keep in mind that you're making great progress.