the_dunk_tank
It's the dunk tank.
This is where you come to post big-brained hot takes by chuds, libs, or even fellow leftists, and tear them to itty-bitty pieces with precision dunkstrikes.
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Hardest miss I've ever seen. Dreadfully unfunny. Did some turbolib break into their office and write this without anyone noticing or something.
Hate to say it, but most Onion articles are this unfunny. The headlines tend to be the only funny part, the body of the article tends to just repeat the joke. Their old videos were much better, IDK if it's the same writers but the articles are far less humorous.
Oh yeah those old onion videos are fantastic. The one about the military existing to protect America's gays always gets me
Can't blame them too much. Nobody reads the articles, it's all about headlines. I wouldn't be giving it my a-game either.
There are two that I remember making me laugh pretty hard but I was still in school back then so I probably had a much higher tolerance for low effort crude humor. One about the Secretary of Interior punching a buffalo in the mouth and the other one about Haiti hosting the 2216 Olympic Games (a lot less funny now that I'm older and know why Haiti is poor). You're right that the joke is invariably just rewording the headline over and over but sometimes that just works.
Those are sick, these are my faves:
Trump voter feels betrayed by president after reading 800 pages of feminist literature
New ad urges hipsters to attend Applebee's ironically
Teen's death hits reporter hard
Revolt forecast
Ever seen The Onion Movie? It’s classic oldschool onion and I loved it.
iirc they came under new ownership a while ago and some of the editorial staff changed iirc