this post was submitted on 14 Jun 2024
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It's ruining my life. And the irony is it's the only way to dissociate from bad things. At least it seems like that's the only way. Feels like the snake that eats its own tail.

Edit: thank you all for the good advice and support. It means a lot. I love my comrades. Care-Comrade

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[โ€“] [email protected] 4 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

So there's the basic advice:

Avoid your triggers and the environments that drive you to start drinking, don't look at it as an all-or-nothing situation where if you relapse then you might as well just give up/you've let yourself or everyone else down but rather that you are on a recovery journey that is non-linear and every relapse is an opportunity to identify which factors in your life have brought about the relapse so that next time around you'll be able to manage sobriety better and more sustainably, rehab, therapy etc.

You have indicated your need to dissociate from bad things. That's really crucial and it's going to be fundamental for understanding how to approach your particular situation, which is going to be unique (although you'll be able to draw upon advice from people who experience similar circumstances to yours.)

Personally I would draw a mind map or a diagram that locates the different factors that cause me to drink and weigh them accordingly. This is something that might take a lot of hard work and it might be a gradual process of discovery to arrive at.

Try identify all the causes and trace their etiology right back. "Stress" is a good start but what feeds into that stress? Work? Home life? Trying to give others the impression that you're happy when deep down you feel miserable?

If you can figure out what is feeding into your major causes, you can start on the arduous but necessary undertaking to renovate your life.

I believe that this is the most viable way for long-term recovery from addiction. Rehab is a great way to short-circuit addiction patterns. Therapy can help you develop better insight and healthy coping strategies. But ultimately, especially speaking as materialists, there are fundamental circumstances in our lives that give rise to and reinforce behaviours that cause addiction and it's only through changing those circumstances that we can expect to see addiction addressed; some people can white-knucle it, some people have a major breakthrough one way or another and I have all the respect in the world for those people but I don't think it's realistic to expect that most people can just put the bottle down one day and use willpower to never pick it back up again or that a sudden realisation will spontaneously emerge and cure the addiction permanently.

Instead I think it's more about being the architects of the sort of life that you are able to thrive in. You deserve a life of thriving. You can do this ๐Ÿ’ช