this post was submitted on 27 Jun 2024
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[โ€“] [email protected] 19 points 3 months ago (1 children)
  • download every episode of Winnie the Poo
  • navigate to Tienanmen Square daily
  • record yourself feeding sparrows every morning

You will be immediately classified as a high threat target and directly monitored by Xi Jinping.

[โ€“] [email protected] 9 points 3 months ago

It's true, I did this and Xi used Juche necromancy (which he learned from the evil Kim Jong un) to resurrect Mao, who then proceeded to make me endure a struggle session and then sent me to the countryside to chop trees.