Transfem
A community for transfeminine people and experiences.
This is a supportive community for all transfeminine or questioning people. Anyone is welcome to participate in this community but disrupting the safety of this space for trans feminine people is unacceptable and will result in moderator action.
Debate surrounding transgender rights or acceptance will result in an immediate ban.
- Please follow the rules of the lemmy.blahaj.zone instance.
- Bigotry of any kind will not be tolerated.
- Gatekeeping will not be tolerated.
- Please be kind and respectful to all.
- Please tag NSFW topics.
- No NSFW image posts.
- Please provide content warnings where appropriate.
- Please do not repost bigoted content here.
Posters may express that they are looking for responses and support from groups with certain experiences (eg. trans people, trans people with supportive parents, trans parents.). Please respect those requests and be mindful that your experience may differ from others here.
To make such a request, at the start of the body of your post, not in the title, the first line should look like the this: [Requesting Engagement from _________]
Some helpful links:
- The Gender Dysphoria Bible // In depth explanation of the different types of gender dysphoria.
- Trans Voice Help // A community here on blahaj.zone for voice training.
- LGBTQ+ Healthcare Directory // A directory of LGBTQ+ accepting Healthcare providers.
- Trans Resistance Network // A US-based mutual aid organization to help trans people facing state violence and legal discrimination.
- TLDEF's Trans Health Project // Advice about insurance claims for gender affirming healthcare and procedures.
- TransLifeLine's ID change Library // A comprehensive guide to changing your name on any US legal document.
- Gender Spectrum // Resources for youth, parents and family, educators, mental health professionals and faith leaders.
Support Hotlines:
- The Trevor Project // Web chat, phone call, and text message LGBTQ+ support hotline.
- TransLifeLine // A US/Canada LGBTQ+ phone support hotline service. The US line has Spanish support.
- LGBT Youthline.ca // A Canadian LGBT hotline support service with phone call and web chat support. (4pm - 9:30pm EST)
- 988lifeline // A US only Crisis hotline with phone call, text and web chat support. Dedicated staff for LGBTQIA+ youth 24/7 on phone service, 3pm to 2am EST for text and web chat.
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If you consider yourself a male/guy no, you're not trans. Why do you not feel cis? Maybe your identity lies in the non-binary spectrum.
What you've described is being gender non-conforming, and while that can be a sign of someone being trans, it can also mean you just like some things that aren't typically associated with your gender, and that's fine too.
Yeah I don't have a good answer for this. Not do I know how to get one. I've kind of always thought I really was a girl, just too scared to transition or admit it. But very recently I'm questioning that. I don't necessarily think I'm a girl. But I know that being a "guy" just isn't right either.
I guess I'm not totally even sure what "non binary" even means. Like, I've always felt like it was a cop out kind of identity. And maybe that is just more residence that it resonates with me and is something scary or IDK. It's hard for me to accept what non binary actually means, and especially how it relates to identifying as trans. Assuming the non binary label fits what I am, am I "trans"?
Non binary covers a range of identities. Some feel like neither man nor woman is a good fit for them, or that they don't really identify with the concept of gender at all. Others partially identify with one or both of the "binary" genders. It can be difficult to understand a feeling, sensation, or identity which you have no basis for understanding or if as you say there is something stopping you from properly considering it.
Like others I would recommend experimenting with your identity to see if there's something that feels comfortable to you. Perhaps there are LGBTQ+ spaces you could safely join where you live? Or perhaps there are online spaces like this one you could hang out in? Reading and talking about identities can be very helpful. Check out the links in the sidebar as well if you haven't already, especially the gender dysphoria bible.
Do you feel comfortable with people thinking of you as a man? Does it feel nice when people don't gender you?
I feel like the only way you're going to get some answers is through experimentation. Try out different pronouns, do they feel weird? If they do, why?
I knew I was trans because of my body dysphoria and because I "wanted" to be a girl, but I'd never felt like I was a girl. But I feel like that stemmed of a deep self-hatred, some transphobia and thinking I'd never be "good enough" to be a woman. After many years repressing it, I wanted to try though. And turns out it was the correct choice for me! It took me years to feel comfortable presenting feminine, but for me the discomfort of experimentation was better than "being a man".
So yeah, some people figure it out immediately, for others like me it takes years, but the only way to know for sure is being true to yourself and trying things out without caring what other people will say.
Edit: oh, and yes, non-binary people fit within the trans label, although some of them prefer not to use it.
I struggled to feel like a woman too. Part of it was internalized transphobia, but part of it was imagining what others would expect of me when I called myself a woman. I don't want to be ultra fem and all the other expectations, and telling myself that helped a lot. My gender expression is quite masculine, but I'm still a woman (or demigirl maybe? Eh, whatever).