this post was submitted on 26 Jul 2023
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[Outdated, please look at pinned post] Casual Conversation

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I guess this is a correct community to post about this? If not let me know.

My company finally is asking politely that we have to go to the office twice a week. Or else. That else is not yet defined, but obviously there will be consequences of not going to the office.

I have been at this company for 15 years, from junior dev to manager.

I did a daily commute of about 40 mins in the morning, 40 to an hour back, never gave a second thought about that. That was normal.

After pandemics, I found out all I have been missing on my kids growing up. My second kid is much more attached to me since she saw me daily, even if I was in my office room at home, she got to see me more often.

So I found out how much my life improved by doing working at home. Hell in the middle of this sentence my kid just showed me some thing she drew.

I stood my ground, I basically politely told HR that I am not going back. And actually my reasons make sense, I work with people in other countries, they don't care where I am.

And it will affect my performance, driving to the office, moving all my equipment, and having people around trying to talk to me will take a toll.

So yeah, I am polishing my resume, because there is no turning back now. I will be shunted if I ask for a raise, they can easily say "hey but you are not coming to the office, how come you want a raise if you are not part of the team", never mind that I do everything that is expected and more.

Just off my chest I guess, and anxious about the future.

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[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 year ago (3 children)

Time for a new job. There are plenty of remote jobs out there. You have good experience under your belt, so don't let them scare you into going into the office. Give them the bird and leave. Companies don't care about you, no matter how long you've been with them, and you shouldn't care either. And no, your team isn't your family, they're just people you work with. Don't be attached.

[–] Poringo 6 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Yes, I am old enough to know that you are selling your expertise and time.

The company obviously profits a lot more that what you receive.

Also I always cringe with this "family" stuff on any company, that is just a way to manipulate the employees into creating a relationship with the company.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago (1 children)

"We're family!...... If you count those toxic families that are governed by raging narcissists. You wanted vindictive feuds, useless arbitrary rules, power-tripping, victim blaming, a cult of personality over management, and extreme punitive actions, right? Right?!"

My last place had a strong cult vibe to it. That was bad enough. But the part that really tripped me out were the overly-bubbly 'glee squad' employees who spent half their time fishing over how life changing our employer was, and the other half literally crying over... how life changing our employer was. It was incredibly cringe. I felt embarrassed for them.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago

I once worked at one of those "family" places.

One day the boss told me he didn't think I was particularly dedicated to that place.

I said "No shit. That's why you have to pay me to show up every day."

That put an end to that line of reasoning.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago (2 children)

I don't think there are plenty of remote jobs anymore. They're highly sought after.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago

You and I have had very different experiences. My organization has grown my 5x in the last few years and all added positions were fully remote.

But I agree that remote roles are highly sought after. I think there's a correlation effect: Excellent dev managers create fully remote teams, and word gets out that they're excellent to work for.

This will, sadly, settle out when the shitty managers catch on.

On a more personal note, hang in there. You can be top tier talent and still walk into a desirable job interview right after a unicorn candidate for that role.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Can confirm — have been looking for four months for remote roles. I’ve done maybe 20 or so interviews to various stages, but no offers.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago (1 children)

What kinds of positions are you applying to?

[–] [email protected] 0 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

mid-level (5ish YoE) SWE and MLE/ MLOps roles

More annoyingly, there have been so many baits and switches/ playing fast and loose with the term remote.

  • Job description title: "remote"
  • Job description body: "remote 2 days a week!"

or, halfway through the process

"Sorry, initial job description has been filled. Here's another role, though, which is incidentally equivalent to the old one but the job description now says hybrid!! :) :)"

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Ah nice you're on a good track (I can't do AI/ML).

I feel you on that bait and switch, these recruiters are savages and companies desperate.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago

Is that good lol Tbh I’m trying to get away from it and become a backend generalist because I’m sick of the (1) ML hype that leads to absurdly unrealistic / unsatisfiable requirements and (2) the need to work with internal customers (data science people, etc)

[–] [email protected] 0 points 1 year ago

I’ve seen in tech. But the great majority of those are either US or EU only. Outside of that, it’s pretty bleak.