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I have experienced a relationship like this and it's definitely a problem to be fixed. If you spend all your time comforting your partner and "solving" and it's not reciprocal, this can wear away your respect for them. You may need to make a little more of a lift: when you need support, do the work of figuring out what you want and then tell her. And then hopefully she'll learn to do that without explicit help.
Also a little bit of stereotyping:
Are you sure this isn't solution-oriented vs venting-oriented? Some people are very action oriented, some people have more of a passive orientation and want to sort of get it out and hear that they have options and get reassured that way. Action-oriented people feel let down when the other person just reassures them; venting-oriented people feel ignored when they're trying to blow off steam and the other person keeps trying to make plans. These are gender roles you could be unwittingly playing.
Good suggestions, thank you.
Yeah this is a good question and one where I've put some focus myself. For my part I'd say I'm practical and try to gauge at a particular moment if I should offer advice or just shut up and listen. If unsure, I'll ask. For my partner, she usually jumps to advice, which I find off putting. In those situations I'll suggest we move on and kind of retreat to deal with my issues on my own. That might be toxic in its own way and denying her the chance to try something different, but we've been through this kind of thing enough times that I can only see disappointment on my end if I ask her for a different kind of support and she shuts down instead.
Hm. So she's offering advice (or to take action herself?), but her advice is no good? What do you actually want, material help from her or for her to listen and empathize for a while and sort of support you while you sort things out? Have you communicated that to her? Retreating might be a little toxic, but if neither of you does anything concretely different you'll just deepen the same groove of a hurtful dynamic and make it harder to change.
Also, Internet psychoanalysis is bunk but one thing that could be happening is you're so used to managing stuff yourself that you're hesitant to let another person have any steering input. Make sure she really is giving bad advice, because if she's trying her best to be helpful and you're reflexively pushing her away that's gonna feel really bad on her end.