this post was submitted on 23 Aug 2024
472 points (96.3% liked)

Greentext

4494 readers
794 users here now

This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

Be warned:

If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.

founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
 
you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
[–] [email protected] 103 points 3 months ago (7 children)

I'm regularly surprised by how many people manage to shit themselves, and how it's common enough that people have a casual laugh over their "shat myself" stories. I feel left out. I laughed so hard I peed myself once when I was 5?

[–] [email protected] 36 points 3 months ago (2 children)

I have IBS, and while I've had many close calls I can proudly say that I've never shit myself. As someone that's basically a flight risk for accidental pooping, as well as having heard these stories before in-person, I often wonder if more people have stomach/bowel problems than they'd like to let on.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 3 months ago

you've jynxed yourself and i kind of hope you shit yourself now just so i can say "shouldn't have shitposted about it" in response.

this might be my most elaborate shitpost yet.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 3 months ago

i left work right after clocking in because a fart felt like pushing out more than just air. so embarassing

[–] [email protected] 28 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) (1 children)

I sneezed and shat myself the other month, maybe you're young or maybe you've got a good bowel sytem.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 3 months ago (1 children)

I coughed, burped, and sharted simultaneously a while back. It was disorienting and I felt violated

[–] [email protected] 5 points 3 months ago

If you time it right you can hit the ceiling with those

[–] [email protected] 27 points 3 months ago

and how it’s common enough that people have a casual laugh over their “shat myself” stories

That's how we deal with the trauma.

[–] [email protected] 24 points 3 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 3 points 3 months ago

So say keto dieters

[–] [email protected] 16 points 3 months ago

Clearly you're all blocked up. You should eat more fiber.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 3 months ago

OP has a gaping asshole.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 3 months ago

Drink way too much cheap liquor and you too can have the opportunity to shit yourself the next day.