this post was submitted on 31 Aug 2024
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Id love to
Ive been thinking more about making things. I have no space to do so, so its just fantasy for now, but i want to be productive in ways that are fun and/or genuinely help people. One thing ive been thinking about is making midi pads. I priced everything out and its not terribly expensive, and i could put custom midi pads/controllers in everyones hands who wants them. The real spendy stuff comes when you want velocity sensitive pads/buttons.
Ive also been doing a lot of programming recently, and its been pretty great! Been working on some metaobject stuff thats confusing, but in a fun way lol.
I had some serious anxiety this morning, and a really uh interesting night where the deluded thoughts just kept going and it was hard to keep them in check and managed. But things are better now; im just up, and like, up in a way that i feel is manageable.
Is this what mentally healthy people feel like?
Making midi pads sounds like a fun project for sure! If you ever start doing it, let me know because I'd love one. I wanted an MPC really bad as a teen but never got one because they're so damn expensive.
I'm glad the code is keeping you entertained! I've been thinking about getting back into it because I had a lot of fun with it before depression really took over. Too bad I only ever really learned Java and JavaScript.
Mental stability is a great feeling. It comes and goes in waves, but those calms are really great
Ok what would you want in a midi pad? Number of controls and types, layouts, etc.? Ive been looking at ADC units and especially arduinos (not too keen on doing a 10000 unit order of ADCs lol) which have a multiplexed ADC, so 8 analog inputs plus i could do a grid of digital inputs. One thing I was thinking of was having midi note velocity controlled by a pot or encoder or something, or setting up groups of digital inputs with different velocities.
code evangelizing
If you ever feel like getting into it again, I have never had more fun than with the programming language Common Lisp. Its weird, its old, its incredibly responsive. It has a really easy to understand syntax (imo) which makes code navigation a breeze. It was also doing LSP 30 years before LSP. Its what I love to write and it makes solving problems really easy imo. And if you write good code and use a smart compiler, it can be almost as fast as C (or as fast even, if you(declare (optimize (debug 0) (safety 0) (speed 3))))Yeah
ive been feeling functional again, and all i can think of is "cool, so im gonna fall back into a deep depression any day now, great, lovely, thats exactly what i wanted". And friends say "nah just find what hypes you up", which is a shitty invalidating answer. Makes me not want to be around them.